PinkyJane

i am moving

2006-01-23T03:30:00.000-08:00

yea.. hey peeps..

i am moving.. yea..
moving where?

my new blog of cos...
- http://sotongjane.blogspot.com

a place called my own...
:)

2006-01-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

hey people.. stop guessing wat i am trying to write in my previous post le.. haiz.. i receive alot "complaints" tat is was unreadable.. ya.. it is not alien language for vulgar.. they are chinese words tat i have copy from someone's blog.. (title : xin lin wu yu) i feel tat.. it have been so true.. so i jus wrote it down.. for those who cant read those character.. can try right click ur page.. go to encoding.. mine i choose "Unicode (UFT-8)" in order to read.. but drew told me he can read it from his com.. tis i dunno le... "

but anyway.. i have holidays for mon and tue and wed.. * for tis part* i have long story to say... is actually rp open house.. i felt so exicted at first.. but not now anymore..

at first is.. plan hao everything de..
in the end no more le..
den still got le..
being affected abit..
asked God whether He still wan me anot.. ?
will still accept me anot ?

i know abba still loves me..
and He have been so good to me..
i have let Him down so many times...

haiz...
i down with some illness on my body
some werid swollen patches..
pls dun suspect is chicken pox..
not dengue either..
pray for me..
i feel the pain in my bone...
tat make me weak
*gosh*

*need a new blogskin*

*need a new blog for me to write chinese character* - got recommendtation pls tell me...

2006-01-12T04:47:00.000-08:00

有些时候，生活中的一些小事，会让你有些领悟，会让你作出一些决定。

哎。。
发生了一些问题。。导致了一些些的不愉快，导致了不必要的烦恼。

可我不要这样。

在学校里。。。

原来我对一样东西已经是那么的依赖。
或许对你已经成为一种习惯。

因为习惯可以完全不带任何感情。所以我不重视。。。

习惯
会形成依赖。

依赖，
会使人迷失自己，失去自己生活的重心，也会使对方感到厌倦。

不。
我不是悲观，更不是绝望。只是想确定以下，我内心真正的感受。

我想，
我会找到我的答案。

Synergy

2006-01-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

Synergy!!!!

is the combined power of working together of two or more people of a team so that the combined effect is greater than the sum of the efforts of an individual.

disapp0inted by what y0u did..

2005-12-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

my wh0le m0rning wasted c0s 0f tis tw0 "friends" 0f mine.. Supp0se t0 meet at 11.30.. and jus send a sms to me at 11.15 -- " Sorry, i cant make it" wat is tis!! OVERSLEPT? excuse me, will u overslept for bible study or for pastor meeting? tell me wat should i do to calm down man! tis is like ridiculous.. my wh0le m0rning.. my eff0rt.. my money f0r the trip.. all WASTED!! thanks t0 the b0th 0f y0u..

How well y0u said.. "N0 0ne is perfect.. " no point... jus have disappointed me so much..

alrite.. let's dr0p t0pic.. dun ever be nice in fr0nt 0f me.. and say wan to help me l0ok 0ut f0r j0b 0r etc.. it jus make me wanna puke.. dun be so fake can....

call urself a "_____"

anyways..
n0w i kn0w wh0 t0 trust and wh0 n0t t0...
who are my fren and wh0 are n0t...

and ya.. i have lowered my faith in y0u...

words hurts!!!

2005-12-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

hey.. i hate your reply.. ur sms.. fine!! watever as you said...

those who think tat i enjoy my work.. i think u should have to read it again.. it was soo obvious.. i dun like it.. i wanted to quit after my second day.. i told amanda everything already.. but she insisted tat i have to learn and get use to it.. she said "after all.. the job was quite relax.." haiz.. i dunno how to say la.. i really dunno..

our last cell group meeting.. a great one indeed!! Thanks to everyone who have make it a great one!!

i am too lazy to explain le.. let it be according to wat u say ba...

gosh d0 Y0u still l0ve me?

2005-12-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

**tis m0rning received call fr0m d0ne 0 ask me g0 c0llect pay.. w0oo h00oo**

*gosh* i was being asked bu Jacob for tis job intro by his sister - Amanda. At first i thought.. God u indeed pr0vided me with a j0b.. as i was keep praying f0r 0ne... with the pay of $6/ hour.. tat's was great isnt it? tat's wat i thought at first.. being so exicted and grateful. yet wasnt sure how it was like.. he t0ld me is s0mething like Family type KTV.. but i reached there.. l0ok at the enviroment.. i g0t *SH0CKED* 0MG.. it's a PUB!!!.. at first, i thought wasnt tat bad.. as they t0ld me it was kinda small 0ne family tat kind... but the fact is.. really quite bad.. the surrounding filled with smoke.. and smell of beer... *choked* *puke*.. dead meat.. wat the shit.. i stand there like * da mu tou* while i l0ok at 0thers - Amanda and Slyia (aka the ma ma san).. they look s0 pr0 l0r.. they know h0w t0 talk to the customer.. chit-chat.. but i stand there l0ok like nerd.. i dun dare t0 appr0ach anyb0dy.. i jus walked ar0und.. h0pefully the Ash tray is full s0 tat i can clear it and pretend busy.. the j0b there.. was quite relax actually.. can sit down and d0 anything.. chit chat.. very free indeed...

i watched them sing.. play p0ol.. drink beer.. finally i approached aunties t0 talk.. *praise G0d* den sl0wly the m0re y0unger 0nes... den g0t 0ne uncle.. pass me a *$10 notes*.. gosh.. never have expected it.. it was a blessing indeed.. i maybe i was new.. den i l0ok quite n0t pro.. never wear nice nice.. never put 0n any make up.. al0t guess tat i was in my *17-18* (age) even w0rst.. there was 0ne c0mmented.. are u underage? u are * 15 - 16* ba.. i thought they can only hire 18 and ab0ve!!! Laugh 0ut loud!!!

tat's my first day indeed.. end at 1 plus.. took their mini van back home.. *c0me back with the bad smell of beer and smoke* *puke*

time : 4:36 PM wednesday.. 14 Dec 05

s0t0ng here...

2005-12-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

hey tata~
i am back to bl0g again le...
t0day was such a busy day indeed.. busy yet not fruitful ya.. like "busy empty".. got wat i mean?
but anyway.. went out at 1pm to meet wan kay (Yan ming's fren) jus got to know her yesterday through the interview.. i can tell she is a miss undecisive.. lol.. everything also dunno.. als0 abit n0 c0nfident ab0ut herself w0r.. like everything als0 dun dare to try.. i mean if y0u really dunn0.. also mus act infr0nt of the manager or at least give s0me face ma.. l0lx..

but anyway.. went t0 tat *sales and marketing j0b * twice.. still dun really like tat j0b.. wanting to leave.. but h0w sh0uld i say it.. *g0sh* tmr g0 training again.. *tragedy * help help... after the *getting t0 more session* i went h0me have my dinner.. den rush 0ut to meet jasmine t0 c0llect pay.. *kaoz* an0ther unfruitful thing!! we unable t0 collect it t0day.. as b0on wee wasnt ard.. so it was a wasted trip afterall... haiz.. need to g0 again tmr and take pay..

alm0st decide to work the j0b as a surveyor.. *bo bian* urgently need jobs liao... it's a d00r t0 d0or survey.. transp0rt n0t pr0vided.. but quite g0od pay la.. abit tiring.. more details coming up at next entry.. so stay tune ba *see ya*

Ps : the timing as it was written below wasnt accurate.. i dunn0 h0w t0 adjust it... *g0sh* s0 g0t to provide timing formy entry le...

The time now is 12:00 Am (sharp) Tue, 13 Dec 2005

family arent there anymore...

2005-12-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

family are family..
but they arent there anym0re!!

wat's ur defination f0r family?
c0me f0r g0od times?
and g0es when bad times?

great service~

2005-12-11T06:58:00.000-08:00

yea.. the first service at Exp0 was great!!
the presence 0f G0d is there..
Abba, Father.. Daddy .. G0d~
w0w.. i cried like never bef0re..
it was simply great..
f0r th0se pe0ple wh0 miss it...
tat was really jus *t0o bad* man!!

an0ther thing c0s i cried.. 0f s0mething unpleasant happen... i was late.. n0t actally.. i rushed d0wn fr0m ministry as fast as i c0uld.. but still never get t0 sit with my cg~.. as i was n0t part 0f my bel0ved family~ haiz haiz.. but still i am gladful t0 have a seat... lucky.. i still have a forever by my side family member - Abba ( thanks daddy) y0u will be my 0nly family member le.. * I l0ve y0u *

I hate to leave~ but have to...

2005-12-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

wow.. it was great being fruitful.. as in wh0le week 0f h0lidays.. i felt it was n0t wasted~
g0t s0 many things t0 update.. jus bear with me..
ya.. the first week 0f my h0lidays akm0st 0ver.. which is indeed fast.. First.. k0lina went back to ind0 le.. alrite.. i miss her!! but thanks G0d f0r the techon0logy.. we still have e-mail t0 update one an0ther... and yes.. i wrote a l0ng email f0r her.. but really mus blame her f0r sh0rt reply.. c0s is like ha0 bu r0ng yi got chances to use internet.. den nv grab hold 0f it and write me a l0nger 0ne... *mus blame, mus blame*

sec0ndly.. was the tele j0b.. t0day was my last day.. pretty sad rite.. even th0ugh i didnt w0rk very l0ng.. but think 0f it.. i actually d0 enj0y myself there.. have l0sta fun.. the pe0ple there also are very nice n friendly.. especially Jun Yuen the *g0od guy face*, Jas0n * d0ne 0* (wahahaha) , Smith the *b0ssy l0ok* and Sim0n the *the unfriendly guy* haiz.. i guess i will miss the j0b and miss them t0o.. g0tta l0ok f0r another j0bs.. tis few days have been filling up al0t and al0t and al0t of applicati0nsss.. g0ing uphill and down f0r jobsss... interview after interview.. i am tired.. real tired.... *g0sh* i need a j0b!!! Give me a break!!!

** but but the company asked and wanted yan ming for PA ( personal asst) for Simon the aka the fierce looking 0ne and * wat i call him.. always give us 0verw0rk, lesser pay!! all the incentives... ch0c0lates tat he pr0miss.. never c0me t0 pass.. omg~ God bless Yan Ming... lolx..

toking about yan ming.. thanks for shou liu me t0day in ur house.. i was tired.. and i have rest 0n the bed.. w0oo.. thanks f0r the avaliabilty 0f ur h0use.. *felt asleep half way watching the "sheng hua" * lolx...

0h ya.. g0tta a new h0me at exp0.. the prayer meeting 0n wed was great.. but ended g0ing h0me al0ne.. h0w sad!! g0tta get use t0 it anyway.. haiz haiz...

* I am waiting f0r ur reply*
* I am waiting f0r my pay arrival date*
* I waiting f0r my job*
* Waiting for mighty move 0f G0d*
* waiting 4 Breakthrough*
* waiting f0r blessing in all area* - eg.. spiritual, studies, finiancial.. blah blah....

but but
** dun wait f0r things t0 happen ~~ make it happen!! **

2nd time donating blood~

2005-11-29T03:14:00.000-08:00

Today - 29 nov
2nd time donating of bl0od.. w0nderful experience.. - i g0t a pink bandage (happy)
n0thing much during web t0day.. g0t a new fac - he never menti0n his name t0 us.. run away fr0m kenny's team.. team with Astr0b0y, n0or and ade.. wat a day 0f enj0yment.. have l0sta fun~ play play and play~ *cheers* xD

Tis few days getting more emotional..
yesterday during my Java lesson... was super stressed.. cos i totally have no ideas on how to d0.. and i dunn0 wat t0 present.. Linda, my fac, expectati0n was s0 high.. especially 0n the "n0t impt. ppt" haiz.. will be the last with my java team le.. c0s heard tat she is changing team after the h0lidays, which is als0 the starting 0f my new semester. and the remarks she made after 0ur presentation s0und "indirectly hurting" might as well say " y0u all didnt put in any eff0rt thr0ugh 0ut the day" - all in all.. here and there... make me super pissed 0ff.. super .. dunn0 h0w say de "n0t happy" ...

plus after sch..
l0ng st0ry - suppose to meet yan and k0 earlier for dinner bef0re the tele j0b.. not supp0se t0 be late.. but but but.. i am n0t late de.. i c0unted my timing.. when i was ab0ut t0 g0 off at 4.25 t0 meet them at 5.. ade asked me t0 acc her g0 take ph0t0.. since we are reaching the same destinati0n, so i agreed.. and ended up late.. haiz.. bad attitude displayed. accumulate of all the worst things in the days.. i got "breakd0wn" *cried in t0ilet* as wat i usually will do.. like my *refuge* =)

*the time is n0t right - the time n0w is 7:45*
*h0w t0 edit the time*

Zhu wo sheng re kuai le~

2005-11-23T15:22:00.000-08:00

Zhu w0 sheng re kuai le~
yea.. suddenly feeling like sing this song, specially on my birthday~
W0ooO.. Thanks to J0shua, Meiyi, K0lina, Pei Wen and Jasmine f0r Singing birthday s0ng 0ver the ph0ne~ Thanks to all who wished me~

ya.. actually quite unexpected.. some of them i have never c0ntact for s0 l0ng, actually remember my birthday~ w0o.. Thanks to Cell Gr0up for the birthday present~ thanks to ah hui for the piggy~ l0l.. i like it~ :) *th0se i expected t0 wish me, never d0 it* =(

For a moment.. n0b0dy to chat to 0n msn.. den when i start bl0gging.. everyb0dy c0me and talk to me.. -.-" l0l.. salcking at home can be so unhealthy!! sian sian...

0h ya.. have been chiong-ing maple awhile today.. after i die.. den slack le.. haven even level 50 yet!! shit.. train s0 long liao~

the bible study was s00 g0od.. i learn al0t 0f things.. and it was applicable..

No m0re argue with Kenny, Fris0 refuse t0 change team.. g0t to endure 0ne m0re week..

I dreamt about first my mummy's death den next day my sister's death~ WAT!! G0d, are y0u hinting me 0f s0mething?

tired 0f bl0gging le~
my life is s0 simple, Y0u sees it thr0ugh~

i am not perfect~

2005-11-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

alrite.. i am gonna make this a special entry. why do i say that? cos i have no idea wat am i going to type later.. i have to much thoughts in mind, but i jus dunno how to phrase it.. but anyway.. it's me.. i jus feel like blogging...

I jus read a christian's fren blog.. always you seldom see me talking about spiritual stuff here in my blog, *by saying i dun wan to boredom my non-christian fren is actually an excuse* frankly, i have too much experience on how people look at me as a Christian and persecute me.. I am jus a normal girl tat one to gain acceptant from the world jus like everybody else. And this is what i have always been worrying about. Jus like everybody, i got my likes and dislikes. I wan to choose and make decision. Notice I always say "Jus like everybody else". Cos there are too many things, too much that i cant even differentciate whether that it is me or somebody i wan to be or jus putting up a tough, strong front to prevent myself from getting hurt. I am scared, and i will tell myself tat fears are not from God. Is tat wat i SUPPOSE to say to make me feel better, or am i bluffing myself? told you, i cant differenticiate, i am confused. * i dun meant to lower anyone's faith ok*

it's blogging time~~

2005-11-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

woooo... it's blogging time~ miss my entry rite... :)

A few things to pray for:
1) Cedric and Ryan having their 'O' Level math paper, i heard tat paper 1 was over.. and paper 2 is coming up.. please pray for them, that they will be bless with excellence result.. all the best ya..

2) Not forgetting James for his 'O' level english paper on wed.. Jia you

3) Last but not least.. Kolina, Yan ming and Shu Jun for their 'A' level~

Alrite.. i should start my blogging~ firstly.. and unfortunatly today was Java.. and it was worst than jus terrible.. but my team (James, Saw and Kenny) manage to pull it through to the end of the day.. and Miss Linda Cheong gave me a packet of "yuppy" for motivation.. yes she is indeed a very nice lady.. but she was rather strict in her grading...

oh ya.. forgot to mention about the Java UT tis morning.. and sometimes it's good to forget about thing tat make me feel so sad.. anyway i prepare to fail tis paper.. dun say i have low faith.. seriously, i wanted to return the paper back to the fac after reading all the question!! For the first time i felt so lost, can u imagine more than 15 mins have passed and i didnt even write a single things down for a 30 mins paper... Partly i was abit late, my mind was blank, and i jus anyhow "han tam" an answer inside. i would be happy if i get a "C"...

okie... put aside all the unhappy things... recently i am into the show "Wang Zi Bian Zi wa" - the prince who turns into a frog... it was very touching.. a very very very nice show, highly recommended by me. i rated 9/10. y0u guys sh0uldnt give it a miss~

tat's all~ and be bless over the week... :)

y0u have turn my s0rr0w int0 j0y~

2005-11-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

w0w.. yesterday was a happy day~happy m00d~ ask me why~

den i remember tat s0ng
y0u have turn my m0rning int0 sunshine~
y0u have turn my s0rr0w int0 j0y~

first~ G0d really hear my prayer, even th0ugh i didnt really pray ab0ut it.. guess wat? i almost jumped with j0y when Ryan called me and told me tat the fac changed team and i wasnt team with "Arrogant b0y" God indeed is a g00dG0d, He changed my team with Kenny they all to be with "Ryan, James and Samuel" i was really t0tally stun~ 0f c0s i am happy ab0ut it la.. and with have l0sta fun.. they played trick 0n me... and i can say that they really g00d at acting.. w0w.. wh0le class almost give me a heart-attack~ but i still enj0y my day with them even, we didnt have c0me out with a g00d presentation or s0luti0n.. but i jus l0ve the way it is.. better to be with my previ0us team.. where pe0ple d0ing "0ne man sh0w", as i t0ld Ryan " I rather be with a gr0up tat d0esnt know much, but g0t discuss0on and learn fr0m each 0ther~ than having a g00d team and know n0thing~ am i right? "

sec0nd thing is tat~ my java team.. always couldnt have more than one person getting "B" on the same time.. it is with Ryan got "B" and i got "C" or vice versus... but tis time.. i was really expected a "C" from her.. as i knew Ryan will have g0ttan a "B".. bec0s 0n tat day... i didnt even say a w0rd during presentati0n~ i didnt really understand al0t~ but but but.. guess wat... i g0t an "A" 0mg~can u imgain.. i dunn0 even kn0w wat happen tat i c0uld g0t tat "A".. Praise the L0rd~

blogging at ade's place~

2005-10-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

yea.. cannot it believe rite, i skipped school today.. partly cos my laptop spoilt.. and libary dun have anymore laptop for me to lend.. plus i really dun wan to stare blank in my class.. seeing everybody using laptop im-ing.. super sad rite..

but another reason is.. when i reach school.. i called ade, found out den she jus woke up.. so the "super-sian" -me decide to pon school and went to her house instead...

so tat why i ended up here.. ade cooked spagetti for me.. thanks thanks.. not bad la...
anyway.. talking about chatting with Ryan at her house was super funny ok.. * Ryan, stop misunderstad tat we are les can!!* tat's was jus a joke.. but anyway.. i jus enjoy the slacking at her house.. do nothing.. very long dun have so relax liao lor.. wan do wat, can do wat.. listen to song.. digging her secrets... blah blah.. etc...

oh ya.. she taught me how to "suan ming" using poker cards... hmm... accurate anot, i also dunno.. jus thought tat it was pretty fun anyway.. going to get myself a set of poker card.. so tat i can "suan" for myself too.. wahahah...

now ade is sleeping.. and i am really like nothing to do.. anybody there?
ya..able to fix my laptop by today.. but my 80 bucks gone!! anyway.. i am not the one paying it.. but i feel very guilty ok.. i dun dare to drop it again le...

start to worry about my spiritual life le.. gonna get back on track ok...
Jane gambatte!!!

0ooppsss.. my bl0g have been disc0vered!!

2005-10-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

0h n0... i shall write lesser? haha.. anyway.. i d0nt care la...

i enj0y myself t0day, even though i kn0w i will can "C " l0r.. c0s i kept quiet during 0ur presentati0n.. anyway.. it was ab0ut "maple st0ry" which supp0singly to fun.. but the lesson t0tally sux.. haha..

but my team was fun, as usual, there were me, ryan, cedric and r0y.. and the sad thing is that saw left early.. and we missed all the laughter from him....

alrite.. less0n t0day was tiring la.. with the problematic Eclipse, okie la.. thanks to Ryan for helping to figure out wat happen.. we spend like first and second meeting jus to get started on the Eclipse thingy.. 0h man.. and the worst thing is tat.. by the end of the day.. it was not even working properly..

thank God we were the last team to present.. with the help of our "cooperative" classmate..

*rushing off for cell group meetiing** will update again..

take care~ tata~

worst day

2005-10-25T00:14:00.000-07:00

koooo.. kooo cool down jane!!!

n0 0ther days can be w0rst than t0day already!!
my team sux!! especially k*****!!
y0u think u kn0w everything... and u dun even listen t0 me.. wad the.. u think y0u are really netw0rking pr0.. dun make me puke can~

dun act smart act clever can~~
better keep away fr0m me, bef0re i d0 anything...
jus shut uP!!

thank G0d f0r ced~
we are 0n the same b0at..
simply dun like a bunch 0f pretender~
get l0st!!!

alrite.. 0ver is 0ver.. * Happy Birthday k0lina~ *
n0 matter h0w much we g0 thru.. y0u are my sister f0rever~
will keep y0u and ur a level in prayer~ we are all behind y0u...
make sure u dun fall k.. if u wan fall, g0 jian fei first~ l0l jus kidding~

pooling session

2005-10-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

oo.. yesterday was a great day not becos of the module : System analysis.. it is becos i went to play pool with my classmate.. : Evieon, Cedric, Jerry, RYAN and ryan's fren -Bernard... quite a number of pros there.. have alot of fun crapping and playing.. yea yea.. Adeline, dun jealous ar..

so many things.. how to update all at once? nvm.. next time ba..

* some parts are deleted*

do u believe in fairies?

2005-10-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

Fairy tale arent true..
People jus make them up..

i do believe in fairies...
ying wei xiang xin bi jiao xing fu~

why like tat...

2005-10-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

haiz.. rollar blade was unsuccessful!! all thanks the the weather.. RAINING!!!
we have been wasting our time waiting and hoping the rain wont stop.. anyway we ended shopping at Junction 8.. i bought a pair of shoes.. which i dun intend to buy, cos i was told not to buy shoes on raining days.. but all thanks to irene.. she ask the promoter to get the shoe size for me.. so.. bo bian lor.. i have to try.. and find tat i actually like it.. yea...

in between shopping.. come out with the idea of blogging, whether is it good or bad.. suprisingly i said it was not a good idea to expose to much of things here.. if it was negative and bring bad influence to others.. or either u keep in private.. unless u are talking about writting good report , testimony, sermon, revelation or encouraging message..

second thing tat was bothering me.. i dunno why we keep on qurralling about a little bit of unneccessary things... haiz.. is it of stress? is it of the changes of us? is it of distant? is it of over familar? or... something else.. no point having me keep guessing and have clueless idea of wat's going on with her... haiz..

suddenly lonely again...
appear to be surrounded by friends..
inner self = empty...
feel as if i lost a part of my soul
*Holy spirit come and filled me*

~Xin fu meaning being contented~

ced's post..

2005-10-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

wow...
i read tis from my fren's blog " havin said that , i stil have doubts and queries about Christianity that perhaps one day might be answered by someone who's explanation is worthy of belief." --- that's the reason i am here for.. there to explain.. (of course with the help of God) wooo...

and a bad new to release.. I HAVE TO REFORMAT MY LAPPY jus for one stupid IIS!!!
haiz.. gotta do the back up and stuffs... found pieces of rubbish here and there.. alright shouldnt say it's a bad things to reformat afterall.. at least my stuffs at neater.. and more organise.. and of course cleaner....

recently.. putting aside my maple story.. getting on another series of " wang zi bian qing wan" .. if i wan i can chiong.. it's all about decision making...

tmr rollar blade.. and we shall see how it goes...

*words don't describ experience*

take care and be blessed.....

last but not least....
~ Happy birthday, bro kee liang.. ~

run where?!!?

2005-10-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

who do you follow?
i heard a lot of people telling me life is like running a race..
life is about going through bad and happy moments.. lolx...
den my question is, my fren, are you on ur way now?
or are u jus merely following the crowds?
do u know where are u really heading to?

alrite.. i found my way!! i am following JESUS!! :)

.... any better?

2005-10-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

alrite.. thank ko for concerning ar.. i didnt expect u will read my blog even u were in indo!! wow.. hope ur life there is fine, building better relationship with ur family.. and also ur studies.. i know ur 'A' level is coming.. dun stress too much ba...

recently.. i also quite sian la.. my school life? hmm.. not any better.. heard tat it is getting more fun.. hmm.. izzit true? lol.. and finally evi is back with us.. ya, nothing much have change... she is still tat out-spoken and also ifiratfattatfattingfing~ omg!!

i think for the first week.. people will like her ba... or find her 'cute' or friendly? i dunno? or they might not be.. lol.. doesnt matter anyway..

Was introduced by Marc with a new job at bugis.. together with jasmine...doing survey through phone.. it was a nice job.. not tat tough.. but we feel that.. hmm... there are always alot of people there.. where we have to take turn use each station. but overall it was quite not bad... oh ya.. i am quitting my tuition with JunJie soon... he keep changing the time and delaying the tution.. i feel tat it was all about wasting my time.. I AM SO PISS OFF~~

to adeline~ : dun comment everything u read in my blog.. some of the things i cant write in my blog, even though i really wan to.. haiz~ but it;s ok~

kolina: Jia you ar... i am all alone here~ u went indo and Eugene go NS~ den me how?

all complain drops here...

2005-10-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

ya.. i should let all my complain be voiced here.. and end it as soon as possible...
although is jus a short period of time.. there are actually alot of things happening around us.. which i didnt even notice.. do people really change? or jus the way we see them? those people i used to be every close with.. can i say not really there anymore? i dunno!! tis thought comes to me.. when i realise tat i have no one to share my feeling with.. and no one to approach when i have dunno wat to do.. haiz.. how sad... who can i talk to!!

ya.. firstly for my sch.. my most fav module of web multi-media in 1st sem turn out to be web development in 2nd sem which i was totally disgust by tat.. omg!! how could it be tis way.. the fac name friso dunno wat.. from dunno wat country is total *** ... omg.. he talk so slow!! and i heard tat he is quite strict in grading.. am i really gonna die in his hand...

for java.. surprisingly easy for the first week... i like the fac, Linda.. finally someone tat's nice.. definetly much more better than Mr Goh.. people from TN0206, especially those same team with me for java one will know... anyway.. i prefer Linda's lesson than the rest of the module.. even though it is java..

for my classmates!! erm... a nice people.. no outing yet.. but have good sharing with kenny.. ya.. but i think in term of our thinking and understand of some spiritual stuff.. abit not there yet.. but can learn from one another and grow up!!

back to school...

2005-10-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

yea.. my holidays are over and i am back to school once again... new semester, new class... but Jane is still Jane... God, make me new again!
ya.. now no more maple.. no more relax life.. no money... no more time... got to get up, and i wan to say " I AM ON MY WAY NOW"
yea.. my first day of sch.... gosh, I AM LATE! and i dunno anyone in my team! even thought i know some of them in my class, people like Noor, liling, Evieon and Amanda... but Amanda transfer course, and she is not in my class rite now, Evieon kanna chicken pox so wont be sch for one week.. i am not close to liling.. Never have a proper chat as well... So left noor.. He is a malay.. and i not kind of racist... all the malays.. i love you ok... =)
but the good things is i get to make new fren as well... people like : Kenny, cedrix and alan.. yes, i am the only ger in the team.. so sway rite... my class only got 4 ger now, not including evieon.. so one ger in each team! poor me.. gonna eat with the guys.. but.. lucky me.. Merri (my ex classmate) joined us for lunch at a nearby market... a well first day i should say...

second day!
i team with alan and samuel... and during second meeting with combined team.. so i get to know one more ger which is adeline... she is erm.. how to say... those very ktv ger.. and very "relationship related" person... erm.. we have fun after all... yea.. next time we can go ktv together le.. and tok abt anything under the sun... alrite.. she is a typical worldly ger... tat's where my reach out comes in... i think i start to enjoy my class already...

i can see a layer of dust here....

2005-09-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I believe you guys see a layer of dust on my blog rite.. it has been more than 2 months since i last came in here to write an entry... wah... i was amazed!! i remembered last time, how much i love blogging.. but i think the interest seem to go away already.. lol

but anyway... ya.. people asking me "wat have u been doing during ur holidays?" hmmm.. tat's the question!! eh.. playing maple story.. going out with frenz.. tat's my life ba... abit meaningless.. i know la.. starting a few pages of the book "purpose driven life".. wow!! it was indeed a good good book... if u haven read tis book... it is highly recommended.. really.. u will love it when u read it... 100& gurantee.. plus chop.. and stamp too.. lol...

there are a few things you can pray for :
1) Pray for Kolina's studies.. her "A" level is coming up.. i think in about 1 months time.. heard tat she didnt do very good in her prelium.. let faith arise in her once again..
*and ko, you don't let ur past defeat pull you down.. cos u know wat.. We serve a great God*
2) Pray for my financial.. cos the kid tat i am giving tuition keep cancaling the tuition.. which mean i have no income.. and i have no idea, where i could have the money to fulfil my building fund for nest month..

i think there are still alot of item in my prayer list.. becos.. i need to rush off to my ministry already.. so see ya...

2005-09-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

Have been so long since I last update my blog le, did you guys notice I always said tat whenever I start blogging... remember last time.. how i used to blog everyday.. or even 2 to 3 time per day.. cos i love blogging so much... come to think of it... i have indeed slacken so much le wor...

So you guys have been guessing wat I have been up to rite... other than down with tat stupid mosquito sickness which is call "dengue fever".. which make me felt so terrible for weeks.. but thanks to so many of your who have showered me with prayers and visited me.. and especially God who healed me and loved me so unconditionally..

Alright.. tis was my official holidays.. yea yea.. actually nothing much to be happy about also... gonna be super bored during my holidays.. gotta catch up the bible and daily devotion blah blah... build up my spiritual life and buck up in my project and stuff.... etc etc..

So.. how should I start?? Went out with Eugene and Kolina.. oh ya.. kolina recently have new name "Kornelia and Kolinma" which one u prefer? Anyway.. it's fun going out with them.. went to Ajisen to have our Ramen.. the food wasn't so nice as expected... I mus say I went in reluctantly.. opps.. but we have nice chat doesn't we ? ever since I was sick until now.. we rarely have fellowship like tis rite... but really too bad.. Eugene rushed off after the coffee bean chat... me and kolina continue our fellowship at library while kolina do her study and I do my bible reading..

Oh ya.. my brother Eugene going NS soon.. tis is for you: " You have been a good brother all along, even there are times tat may not seem right for us.. quarrel and stuff.. all the unhappy things.. but I really still treasure our friendship, and indeed I have learn a lot from you, thanks for all the sharing and also listening to my nagging.. I know it is painful to your ears.. thanks for bearing it through.. all the best in your NS.. it will be tough, but I believe it will bring u good(",) and also.. hope our friendship wont drift ya... * I will miss you losta de* hahahha.. "

**Ps : do pray for Eugene aka Potato... he injured his arms.. heard tat he is now in hospital, xray has revealed tat his wrist is fractured, currently waiting for specialist, if there is a need for operation ... Please remember to include him in your prayer list while u do ur quiet time for his well being... thanks guys**

**Secondly... : do pray for Kolina who is having her major exam... Prelium coming up.. and "A" level in a few weeks times... do keep her in ur prayer list while u do ur quiet time too.. thanks losta.. God will bless you de.. Jia you **

and all God's people says " Amen!"

~ I have learn to put you down... and focus on Him instead... ~

WEILIAN, the superstar....

2005-09-02T22:46:00.000-07:00

woo... been so long since i last update my blog.. Remember last time, i use to write blog even 2-3 times a day.. and now.. i cant be even bother...

recently.. jus recover from DENGUE.. wat a terrible sickness.. **thanks to all of you, who have prayed for me** i know without these prayers and the power from God.. i will be still struggling right now.. THANKS ALOT~

and not forgetting to *special thanks to : Kolina, Eugene, Joelle and ShuJun* for coming to visit me.. and i really like the big sunflower!! woo... hahaha...

anyway.. becos of being sick for so many days.. i have actually miss out so much fun.. especially in school... after the holidays.. we are all going to have our new class.. and.. haiz... i hope we can still keep in contact.. *sorry class... i know tis was the last week that we can be together... yet.. i skipped lesson for the whole week.. i feel so guilty leh..** i think i will miss tis class alot...
but anyway.. faster organise class outing so i can join.. * faster faster*

miss my entry...

2005-08-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

guys i am back again.. it was a breakthrough.. i have living more than a week without blogging... and within tis whole week... so many things actually happens... where should start?

there are er...

1)Class Outing at Ktv.. so many of us actually went... Kenneth too.. hehex... it was an enjoyable one.. seriously.. i am looking forward for the next one... =).. attached some pics...

2)Play Pool with Ck twice tis week.. one with him alone.. another with Jimmy, Jayne and oh ya.. finally get to see his twin brothers... i was totally speechless.. maybe i didnt expect it to turn out tis way... the way they look ok la.. not very similar... but surprsingly.. the sound and the way they reaction... totally give me a shock... i was like so excited to see TWINS.. when i am myself was a twins too... haha... oh ya.. i team with jimmy.. we almost did it.. but we lose.. partly CK was too strong.. *CK~ you wait... i'll be back.. lol*

3) Unfortunate .. i lost my HP~.. shit.. tis was the dunno how many times i lost my phone.. wat i mean HOW MANY TIMES? which mean there are already MANY MANY TIMES i lost my hp.. i was so heart pain!! even though.. i didnt paid for the phone.. and my mummy promise to get another phone for me.. i felt so fortunate in the mist of my unfortunate.. thanks mama... but still i think i am very careless la.. i really dun wish to have anymore such things happened already.. *pray pray*

4) I jus wonder.. people come and go... i am not sure wat would happen next... i am really tired of pleasing the world.. i am so tired of explaining myself to get rids of all the trouble... sometimes i jus wish tat i wouldnt care how much they misunderstand me or look at me... people disgust themselves until there are times tat i cant even differentciate who are the good ones and the bad... haiz...

* i jus wan to be me... even to the way u wont like it.. cos i jus wan to be me... no matter how good i become, there will still be someone out there tat might not like me... so y dun i jus be me.. so tat those ppl like me, like me... (",)

sorry.. if i sound mean...

2005-08-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

oh.. been having a long holidays.. slack at home.. is very bored.. lolx.. thanks Kolina for calling.. nice chat with you.. also get to know something about HER.. i really wonder why she do tat.. oh gosh.. look down on her... but nevertheless.. I think thru wat u said.. alright.. make some sense.. which mean I have to agree? I dunno.. maybe yes.. maybe no.. lolx…

am I leading a double life?
Why am I seem happier with my classmate than… I felt so far apart.. and I dun belong to the group anymore.. can anyone bring me in… I always tell myself.. I am staying for God.. not people.. hmm.. I guess tat’s the reason tat keeps me going… =)

~ do you know? ~
I am good at hiding it..

~ am i tat bad? ~
Wat you mean by dunno how to put across to me??.. lolx..
i promise i wont bite.. =)

~it is too late now?~
to make changes... to do somethings.. to tell you tat i cared...

PS : Listen to my blog song... everytime.. i felt very comfortable listening to it.. and every tone sound so pure... take time to hear it out....

.....

2005-08-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

tuesday have a small class gathering.. woo... so many turn up.. thanks to CK and Jing Wei.. the organiser.. you guys did a good job ok.. quite surprise kenneth turn up also.. woo.. haha.. he can really sing man.. i really enjoy myself... really did.. when;s the next outing??

ENVY.... ENVY... ENVY...

i didnt join them got eating and pooling session.. SHIT ok!! i wan to go.. wonder how much fellowship i missed... SHIT ok... i hate to miss any fellowship with them.. but it's ok la.. can go other time also... but make sure tis time.. i wont leave half way.. lolx..

so many things happen.. i dun even know why... i dun like the state of confusion.. realised alot of things... human have many faces... dont we? haha.. funny rite.. MANY FACES? even i dun believe.. but doesnt matter la.. i jus wan to stay happy.. pure happiness rulez... hee..

think too much make me so tired...

*happy national day**

oh.. miss my entry..

2005-08-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

have been so long.. since i last blog.. remember last time.. i used to blog almost everyday.. but now Jane becoming lazier.. anyway.. it was a great weekend.. Especially the FOP.. we have Darlene and Delirious to lead us to the Praise and Worship.. i tell you.. it was so great.. all the sweats and all the effort are all worthehile jus to hear one song from them.. lolx...

next.. tis time.. we celebrate our church 16 anniversary in SIS.. woo... pastor shared about vision.. woo.. we might be familar of wat vision is all about.. but everytime when pastor preach it again.. it gives me another new revelation.. I love u Pastor Kong... =)

after service.. when for lunch with my fellow cell mates.. woo.. den went for pool session.. it was a great day.. tired.. but enjoyable..

I cried again...

2005-08-03T17:36:00.000-07:00

haiz... Module : Database ... yes.. team with Jingwei, Weijie, Ismail ans Erandi... as usual.. Kanna bully by them.. sian.. second time i ran to the toilet and CRIED.. haiz.. WeiJie.. too fierce already.. i really very scare.. alot of people told me he is jus kidding with me.. i also dunno la.. I DID NOTHING WRONG... ERANDI~ you saw everything rite.. i think none of us could get wat's on WeiJie's mind.. sian.. anyway.. thanks Jing wei for cheering me up.. but u dont think u could escape from me jus for tat... lol..

oh ya.. it's time for module selection.. oh gosh.. totally no idea wat to choose.. i need some advices... Kolina and Eugene, Please help me.. I trust in you guys... go to tat link and have a look~ http://www.myrp.edu.sg/admin/Specialization/Student/module_selection.aspx
if you need the password and ID.. please come to me for it.. thanks alot...

successful outing

2005-08-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

yesterday.. we have steamboat at marina south.. yea fellowhsip.. fellowship.. it was a great outing.. and a times to know each other well.. yes.. thanks to everyone of you tat make it a successful one.. i was so tired.. but i enjoy myself so much...

today module : Operating system.. oh gosh.. struggle my way thru... partly i was very tired.. and i dunno there is UT in the morning.. i went to sch- "UNPREPARE"

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jane say...

2005-07-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

i always thought... " I am who i am.. i no need to be anybody.. this is jus me.. if i am bad.. tat' me... i use to dun like tis person and tat person.. den i will tell myself.. tis is me.. i dun like mean i dun like.. no pretend.. no act.. be real.. be cool.... " den jus today.. when these thought comes to my mind again.. i always thought there is nothing wrong being myself.. but but but... another me was like saying to myself.. " no..no.. jane, you are not urself anymore... you belong to God"

being a Christian.. and knowing i belong to God.. oh.. i have to more like Him.. cos i am no longer living for myself.. i am living for Him.. so i mus be more and more like Him... More of Him and less of me.. not gonna be so self-centre anymore..

alright.. i know wat u guys gonna say.. is a big change rite.. Yes.. dun expect too much.. i am not gonna change overnight.. i need time..

* i can do all things~ THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME~ "

nobody wan to be a failure.. we wan to be successful... so we keep on running and running.. running and running.. but so many of us focusing on the run.. do they really know the direction they are heading towards?? wat is their ultimate goals? or purpose?

i admit...

2005-07-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

okie okie.. i admit i am a BLUR QUEEN okie...

first - i called the wrong valeria.. and talk crap all the while.. and she listened.. she blur.. i also blur... i sms her. and she reply.. den she pass her phone to her sister.. den i thought "where the hell did i know her sister".. den she asked me do i know her.. my ex-classmate.. den i even more blur.. where the hell.. my ex classmate is sister of valeria.. oh gosh.. den i realised it was serica.. and her sister valeria.. is not the valeria i wanna called.. i saved her name as "orange".. oh gosh..

second - during bazzar meeting.. we were ask to cut the coupon.. they emphasis is was impt to cut it well.. i cutted it well.. but i cutted wrongly.. oh gosh.. keep aplogising.. cos they have to reprint it all over agian...

kaoz.. good for nothing man...

*Kolina~ sorry for my poor grammer i used.. tat's me.. bear it thru.. if u think u cant bear this thru.. come in and help me edit my grammer.. i really dun mind.. btw i changed my password already.. come to me personally.. i'll give u.. =) **

Bazzar Meeting...

2005-07-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

Yes.. Module for the day : Web Mulitimedia.. oh gosh.. It's doing all the flash.. wat the... not difficult.. but alot of work to do.. i only can say it's very hard for me to catch up.. haiz.. haiz..

after school.. went for bazzar meeting.. tis time jayne brought ben along.. hmm... and got to know more about valeria.. which is also in bazzar.. we exchange contact... i also know alot of frenz.. our plan to reach out to rp people.. i hope it's really works! jus like sister jiaying told us.. "do something for RP, my SCHOOL" ....

oh ya.. forgot to say... " I GOT IN FOR THE SECOND ROUND!! THE NUS COMPETITION!!" oh gosh... i cant imagine.. we did it!! which mean 6DA POINTS!!! wahahaha... woo hoo.. yea yea... *happy jane running about** boo hoo...

**headach and headach.. giddy and more giddy** where is my rest?? **

ticket to heaven~

2005-07-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

found a ticket to heaven.. it is a one-way ticket.. go have a look... http://www.greatcom.org/laws/

true friends can endure fire and pain together

2005-07-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ya.. i like wat Eugene said "true friends can endure fire and pain together".. yesterday we had a small fight.. i think it's my fault la.. but in the end... yes.. everything's settle.. Thanks to Ko.. i guess everytime it fall.. we get stronger rite.. =)

yea.. today counted as one of my slacking days... no school.. nothing to do.. yea my ipod is back... gotta select songs and put into it.. and some other stuff to do.. like prepare for ministry things.. normally i will prepare on friday.. but friday got steamboat.. so decide to do it earlier.. than on friday.. i can enjoy to the fullest.. yippe.. i am looking forward for that...

jus received a call and sms from CK.. he asked me to help him log into his LEO.. to check his result and blah blah.. after seeing his result.. wah.. i really abit scare already.. wat if he remodule? oh gosh.. he really gotta buck up man! He skipped Java lesson 4 times.. and more than 5 times he would have to remodule... and didnt come for 2 UT... * i really wonder how he gonna make it tis time** God bless him...

okie.. better dun write too much.. wonder how many people are secretly reading this.. oh gosh.. felt so insecure right now...

* Mean wat you say... Big talk with no action = "YUCKS YUCKS" *

for you....

2005-07-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

Hey sister...
thanks for wat u wrote... it's really very true la.. and i know wat u are trying to say.. cos i think only you can understand me.. i think ur thinking is very same with me.. like wat u tagged... " were we really gossiping? i dun think so rite.. we were sharing abt our life, so that we know each other better.."

wat i do may seem very rebellious to alot of people.. i really have to admit.. i am.. i dun need to prove anything.. I am not perfect.. God who is watching from above is not pleasing with this.. I got to change.. arent our life is all about improving ourselves? I enjoy my life now.. I know there is still lack of something.. I need to get it be.. I am not satisfy... "not to please people"

I dun wan to be bother by all the recognition.. and please please dun mention about tat.. i hate it when people categories me as "wat and wat"... people do tat.. YES I DUN CARE!!! and i hope it's not you! cos i know u are different... you know i dun like fake people.. tat's why i listen to you.. cos you wont say things tat I like to hear or to please me.. you will say wat u feel.. at least u are frank with me and straightforward... I DUN MIND! unlike so many people i don't listen to them.. cos they all pretended... and tat's stink!

Like wat i say on tat day.. given the scenario, i choose to have fun with my friends and get scolded together.. rather than pretend to be a super good girl tat the all teachers will like me and be pleased ! so do u understand my point? Of course. let me say again.. I love God.. yes i do...

doesn't both of us encourage each other as well? AT LEAST WE DON’T PRETEND TAT WE ARE!... or give the typical "standard answer" to problem... but we know it's true... as not spiritual as you may be... but to me.. u are far more better than people.. that "pretended" to be one... you know wat i mean... Thanks for being so supportive.. even to those thing tat seem "unright" to others... i really dun think we are pulling each other down... if u think so.. den let's change.. cos i dun wan our relationship to fall again.. let it be an encouraging one...

** Every time when it falls... It stands up again to be a stronger one **

** I dun like mean i dun like~~ this world is imperfect.. tat's why i am here... to change and make a different.. not to be like one of them.. and let it remains**

wat's my topic?

2005-07-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

* To Eugene: Good job in ur song sheet ya... wah.. gald to hear tat u have actually grown up so much.. no more shallow anymore.. you seem having a lot of struggle in ur relationship.. like so tempting to go back to ur "unfruitful" past.. like wat Pastor have said.. "Single" , "Alone" yet not lonely... now u have so many of us with you.. especially me, her and him.. isnt it much better? and u enjoy every bit of it rite.. especially when it come to making fun of me... haha... okie.. let be serious.. i know so much of ur past.. and different now is tat.. u realise ur mistake.. so tat's good.. dun dwell in the past anymore.. c'mon brother.. mus move on!!**

*To G04 members : Some kinds of worry about what we have been doing tis few days.. izzit Godly? fruitful? i seem to be enjoying so much and i dun wanna miss the fun.. but somehow.. it pop up again and again in my mind... and this is really my concern.. to continue? make changes? ignore? i dunno... HEY~ PLEASE TELL ME.... SAY SOMETHING~ **

Saturday 23 July
Wake up as early as 6.. i went for the competition at NUS.. jus for my CE points.. oh gosh.. i hope we got in for the second round.. haha... anyway.. went to bugis to visit the National libary.. also to gain some CE points.. haha... nothing much inside.. but was very BIG!..
Service was very good.. the topic on pontential.. heard it before.. but we i heard it again.. i learn something new.. Yes indeed.. GOOD GOOD!.. lolx..

Sunday 24 July
Cell Group Meeting at shujun house.. good one.. i miss those times... where we have cell at her hse on sunday.. and have good fellowship.. and now everyone are so busy.. do we really have time and sit down to talk? Once bro Keeliang said " I wan to see all this people, when i am back?".. but now.. think of it.. how sad!! HOW SAD! we want to do something.. something tat really could changes the situation now...

2005-07-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating for so long... ya.. ko, u are rite.. my post are getting from short to shorter.. i dunno why.. haha.. run of idea already lor.. lol..

Fri, 22 July
Lesson : Java.. it's sucks.... first time doing pair-programming... with Merri... hmm.. not bad la.. not as worst as pervious lesson... "Wei Jie, are u crazy?"
After school, meet up with Eugene, Melvin and Kolina.. we chatted and of cos gossiped... but it was a good time of fellowship.. very enjoyable.. Tis time lucky got Melvin stay at the North side which is near me.. if not.. everytime Eugene and Kolina went home together... den left me alone... haha.. but still we left orchard at 12.. and we miss the bus "132".. oh gosh.. so we took watever bus tat came.. which was "105" to serangoon... den me and mel share cab home.. it was late already...

Thur, 21 July
Lesson : Web Multimedia.. my fav module.. today we learn how to do flash.. i drew a monster.. but i didnt present well today.. cos i was at a lost.. after that rushed of for my CCA meeting...

Wed, 20 July
Meet up with Winni.. so long never see her le.. her hair so long.. become more pretty already lor.. den we chated here and there.. Browse through a few website... ya.. nothing much..

hear wat friendster says...

2005-07-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today's Forecast
Balancing the checkbook has never been at the top of your top ten list of favorite activities, but when that or any other chore needs to be done, you do it -- albeit reluctantly. This is one of those times.

You'd much rather spend money than keep track of it. In your mind, that's what monthly bank statements are for -- and that's why the heavens invented accountants. At the moment, however, you may need to take stock of some finances yourself. If you're not fond of numbers, it won't be a good time, so give yourself some incentive to get through this -- a reward that you absolutely can't have until the project is done. No cheating.

*oh gosh.. tis is wat friendster say about me regarding money.. how they know i am going thru tis ABC project..**

B+ for OS!

2005-07-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord.. today OS UT result is out.. as u guys know tat how much i hated OS.. it was so hard to understand.. and i never did well... i always get either C or B.. in fact a daily grade "B" for me is good enough.. i dun even look forward for an "A".. so today.. when i heard the grade for UT is out! i asked around.. before i checked my grade... first i asked was "C+", the second was "D+".. oh my.. in my heart.. i almost predicted wat i will get.. when i checked.. i thought i clicked wrongly.. i didnt even was shocked.. cos i know tat's was impossible... very naturally i re-clicked again.. oh my.. was i dreaming? tell me i am not! I got a "B+".. i cant even believe it.. even my friends was shock.. they said " HOW COULD IT BE? IT MUS BE A MISTAKE?".. i was not surprise at their reaction.. personally.. i never thought will get "B+" for myself.. OF COURSE.. me alone.. it was never possible.. NEVER POSSIBLE.. truly it was definitely GOD.. tat have tis kind of power.. all glory to GOD!!...

hmm.. today was fine.. after my ipod shuffle spoilt for so many days.. today.. i decide to sent it for repair.. haha.. it mus be repair sooner or later.. why not it be now..

**Lesson : Database.* Using Visual Basic to edit the table data and so on**

Sian.. nothing much.. oh ya.. after using my laptop for almost 1 and half year.. i jus got to know how to defrag my com.. i bet not everybody know rite.. am i really a computer idiot??? oh no.. i am an IT student.. can i survive?

* In need of CE points rite now? anybody who have excess.. dun mind please DONATE to me.. thanks **

Photo

2005-07-19T02:15:00.000-07:00

**yea.. promise to post my pics here... there you go.. here are some pics we took on Web Multimedia**

?? G4 or F4???

2005-07-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

School sucks... with OS.. everything not working well... anyway.. presentation was not bad.. manage to dig something out of nothing... i was hard working today... so pissed off by CK and Ana.. dun make fun of me again.. especially with tat bloody person.. One more word from u guys.. gonna get it from me.. i am serious...

Oh gosh.. Eugene come out with the name G4.. but i think G04 sound better.. wat u guys think? Den the 4 members.. could name after GE04, GJ04, GK04 and GM04 and so on... cool eh.. wat a good idea...

anyway.. i think next time we should think of better ideas for fellowship.. those very cheap kind.. but still can have losta fun too... no need always starbucks ba.. we really gotta save for Abc... i think if we buy bread and plain water.. sit down at Esplanade and chat... i think will be equally fun.. most importantly is the joke and not the food.. anyway.. the suggestion of peanuts.. etc... was not bad too... could consider it too... yea yea...

anyway.. have fun.. i was rapping all the way.. people seem not to understand a single things from me.. oh gosh... next "Jay chou".. here come the "Jane Ong".. boo hoo... haha.. i was a joke anyway... Ko, how could u gang up with him... i thought u suppose to help me.. Gosh.. in deep shit anyway..

**Jus a reminder to Gene... you are wearing ur WHITE NEW SHOES, in case u forgotten**

The Diseases Of The Tongue...

2005-07-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

There is something very significant concerning the way God designed the human head. Every human head has seven openings: The eyes, ears and nostrils have two openings each, while mouth has one opening. That ought to tell you something - one month is more than we can handle! With more than 2000 refrences concerning this one little organ, the bible does have much to say concerning our mouth. There is no area in our personality that affects our total well-being more than mouth and tongue.

It's does not matter how religious we may claim to be; if we do not keep our tongue under control, our faith is worthless and unacceptable to God. Jesus says," For out of abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Mat 12:34. the words of our mouth inevitably indicates the true condition of our heart.

Consider the diseases of the tongue:
1) The disease of excessive talking. - Proverbs 10:19 says, " In the multitude of the words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."
2) The disease of idle or careless words - Jesus says in Mat 5:37 that exaggeration is from devil; we should not say more than what we mean.
3) The disease of gossip- Prov 10:18. TheThe very title of Satan in New Testamemt is the "devil", which means "slanderer." If you gossip, you are actually doing the devil's work for him.
4) The disease of lying - Prov 6:16-19 says that two of the seven things God hates the most have to do with lying.
5) he disease of flattery. Flattery is insincere complimenting of others, usually with the ulterior motive if gaining favour. God detests falttering lips (Ps 12:3)
6)The disease of hastiness of speech. Moses had to pray a heavy price for one hasty statement - he was disqualified from entering the Promised land. (Ps 106: 32-33)

The grace that poured out from Jesus's lips marked Him out as the Messiah. As followers of Christ, you are to do the same. may your speech always be with grace!

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one - Colossians 4:6

** Yes.. i hope.. i could be like one**

Ko, i have nothing to hide..

2005-07-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

** Ko, i have nothing to hide.. please dun try to dig anything out from me... **

ya.. have been few days since i last blogged.. not busy.. jus lazy... on friday... Met up with Eugene and Kolina for movie at Lido.. We caught the show "Necromancer" which is a Thailand show before ending our day with coffee at COFFEEBEAN located at Scotts... hahah gossip and chatted and wow ...It was great! I knew something... from.. them.. First, cannot hide anything from Ko.. cos she will find out somehow here and there... she is jus too pro to dig all the things up.. or should say.. she is simply too free.. always stay at home.. sit in front the com and click here and there and there she go.. knew everything under the world... ** ShiFu, when are u gonna accept me as ur disciple?... haha.. ya hear Eugene sharing his life during poly times.. it was so....

alrite.. sat.. as usaul.. have me very own service.. Pastor encouraged us to give in Arise and Build.. the message was good.. and i felt challenge.. Yes.. i wan to be part of this project.. Nobody gonna stop be from giving.. cos i know i am not gonna be short change.. but i will be even more bless.. if u stop me from giving.. u are taking away my blessing... how dare u..
i am not only gonna give out of convenience.. but out of sacrifices... so dun be surprise to see me eating my home-made bread in class.. haha...

** Ps : It's him... the guy Jayne mention to me.. opps.. never know the world is so small.. **

i am so happy.. cos today is multi-media...

2005-07-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

yea.. i am so happy... cos today is multi-media...
today... suppose to be editing week.. whereby to add in the effect to our movie already... but Kenneth say got some more things to improve on.. and i personally felt tat is correct.. so today we went and took a few more scene.. and no forgetting to thanks the special appearance who helped in this movie.. "Dai Hua".. thanks alot for stay with us the whole day... ur presence really make a different.. and thanks so much for ur effort.. indeed.. i have so much fun today, i was tiring though.. but i never regret doing tis module.. really.. i enjoy myself.. no longer to earn for myself a good grade.. it's more than tat.. cos simply.. i enjoy doing this project and building bond with my teammates.. thanks guys for making this so successful.. =)
next.. CK our main actor.. got the best actor award in my class.. *congrats ya* dun forget i voted for u.. haha.. anyway.. when kenneth asked to vote for the "the best video award" which was sent to competition.. we got a thite with charlie team.. personally i felt.. we have a good fight.. cos their video.. frankly speaking..was really good... even i admit our video wasnt tat good too.. haha.. anyway.. Kenneth decide to sent the both video in for the competition.. Praise the Lord..
today.. i have good chat with Kenneth.. my beloved fac.. haha.. seeing i was so interested in knowing more abt today;s lesson.. he told me the weakness of our team and also charlie's team.. which was good.. i asked him.. being a production in media corp before... wat he's doing and why he decide to be a teacher now.... he is really someone i can look up to... in the sense.. i wan to be like him.. like wat he is doing...i hope.. i will stay in his class forever... cos i really wan to learn from him.. *pray pray*

anyway.. mus be wondering.. where i go the whole wed if i have no sch rite... and u didnt hear any news of me here as well.. yes.. i went to pooties hse.. actually wanna have a good chat with her.. but end up play some stupid game.. yes.. we did tok.. but.. haha.. focus on game more...
oh ya.. and we took some pictures today.. i gonna upload here soon.. or my friendster.. yea yea... pics with my team.. plus dai hua.. *drooling* ... plus kenneth... boo hoo hooo...

** Ps: Kenneth's comment for me - " I can see that you have the talent for this lesson.Hope that you will continue to put in the same amount of effort and improve continuously."
thanks.. i will continue to work hard in this field.. cos i wan to be like him.. yea yea..

Is it true?

2005-07-12T17:43:00.000-07:00

to those of you who play maple... and dun play maple.. basically to all of you... pls take a look at this link.. I bet u guys gonna like this so much... personally i think it was very nice...
http://games.enet.com.cn/zhuanti/mxd/200501.shtml

thanks to her.. you always so smart ah.. find for me so many secrets.. haha... your ideas of going to search in the Yahoo Search Engine really shock me... tat's was a good one.. so smart of you to think of that...
anyway came arcoss this... which say about me.. being born in the month of November...

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted-if there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships.. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets.. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

is it true? i dunno.. wat u guys think.. i think yes.. i agree to some parts.. but can i become a good doctor? i doubt so.. am i homely? haha.. anyway.. since u dig up few secrets for me... i publish ur month for u too...

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and physical beauty.. Does not lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel! the arts and literature. Soft-spoken, loving and caring. Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair.. Spendthrift and easily influenced. Easily lose confidence. Loves children.

ahem.. do u love children? haha.. i dunno... but i think i agree... especially it says "Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think." i like it when it says "Does not lie or pretend".. izzit true?

anyway.. today.. doing database in sch.. being bully by jingwei and weiJie AGAIN... not forgetting CK was one of them... arrrr... when i can be out of this... HELP!

*hey poot.. where did u go? have been looking for u the whole day... if u see this pls get back to me asap.. u really put me in suspend... where the hell can u be? i thought u having holidays? Oh.. my... i hate this feeling... when i have no ideas of wat to do.. but to wait... **

i said it before..

2005-07-11T21:07:00.000-07:00

hey ya.. today OS.. not good eh.. everytime gotta suffer alot.. in term of.. i am really not interested at all ya... endure thru... haha.. hard day man... but anyway.. it's not boring.. cos CK keep making me laugh... and his entertainment... thanks to him ya... haha..

chatted with him on the long journey back home... cos he is going to bishan.. so was the same way as me... i commented why he always have to talk so loud, and be so rough and so on... haha.. and i told him wat happen during my primary and secondary school life.. where i am still very blur which was a joke then... ahaha.. nice chat with him anyway...

oh ya.. i checked my result for Web multimedia UT2.. unexpectdly.. i got an "A".. i am really very happy about it.. it really confirm me that tat's my calling into furthuring this area.. yea yea...

hmm... i dunno wat happen...
**in the process of finding myself***

alrite... people and people getting promoted

2005-07-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

yesterday during service.. Sister Mayce bring promoted to EM and Jieying to MM... Congrats to them ya...
WHERE"S MINE? they left me out or izzit tat....
I am serving not for glory not for fame... nor for recognition .. not with motives or wanted to have something in return... yea yea..
i am not jealous anyway.. i dun wan it.. i am serious..
i wan to have a pure heart to simply love Him..
Not for people.. but for God...

In this world, simply there are too much things for u to know and to understand.. especially the heart of man.. Love with a motive? Serve with a motive? Say with a motive? Act with a motive?

haha.. i am simply getting tired of stuff like tis...
dun pretend to smile if you dun wan to...
be real.. be urself.. if people like you, they like you of who you are... not who you pretended to be...

another new story

2005-07-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

yea.. so many things to blog here... where to start.. recently something very unpleasant happen... after my story with her... now the 3 of us start on another new story again... tis time is "she and her"... everything gotta be so interesting right now.. i am gotta be a good writer.. and write it down.. so there will be many readers in my blog.. and i know i am so good at tat.. i attracted "Secret Reader" into my blog... i wonder who can be he/she??

though 3 of us have a little conflicts here and there once in a while... remember.. we still sister forever ya.. even ur decide is to stay or to go... let's keep in contact ok...

the smart jane.. found out tat someone is exactly as smart as her.. the ability to dig something out.. haha... u know who u are... i have challengers already lo.

hey poot~ i got so much to update you.. gotta meet up with you soon.. how abt tue night to wed? i like to stay over at ur place... where i am far of my mummy's nagging... haha.. u still rem tat guy from my school where we met in town tat day?? i got something to tell you.. i bet u cant wait to meet me up le right... so u gotta be patient ya... haha.. sms me okie...

now i am really confuse...

2005-07-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

i am confuse of so much thing....
like wat she said.. the freedom tat i always longed for...
like wat they said... when u first go into the cell group.. u will find ppl very nice to you... but why arent they right now?
People say this and that... and they are so many underlying reason underneath wat they say... who to believe? wat to choose?
WHAT DO I REALLY WANT? or isnt me jus blindly follow...
Jane, have u really forgotton wat u always tell urself and always use it to encourage others...
jane, why u wan to dig urself a deep shit and went into it?
I always heard people saying you have one life! live it!
but which way tat u live it consider fruitful... why dun u jus enjoy it.. be happy and forget abt the rest? why u wan to let something hold u back when u wan to do something...
arent u tired?
to live this lifestyle so full of concern...
concern abt do u have time for cca?
do u have time for ur family and friends and for urself.. to do something u always wanted to do?
concern how u should spend ur money in order to give to the arise and build?
arent God say.. He wan to set us free?
always.. when i come into this thoughts... i refused to think deeper... i stay on the surface... wait and see wat would happen...
isnt it the right way? i doubt so...

past few days including today... i am so happy in sch... cos i have so much fun with my classmates.. on wed.. no sch... my web multi media team decide to purposly meet up to do our project... which shows tat "we put in EXTRA effort from the rest!" and thurs continue continue doing the project... me, first time being director cum camera man together with my team... CK, ah an and devi... we went out for shooting.. CK is our main actor... he brought his fren "NICK".. a pro basketballer cum good actor... so handsome... wah... drooling.. haha... i think we did a good job.. all the effort and precious time.. standing under the big hot Sun... so tired.. i didnt regret! IT"S ALL WORTH IT! and not forgetting to mention... I GOT KENNETH'S NUMBER!.. haha.. he is my fav. fac... dun misunderstand ah.. btw he is married... haha...
today java... as usaul.. didnt accomplish anything... simply jus tok crap, jokes and have fun... today we have CK in our team.. he usually skipped class... anyway it's fun having him around... cos he is a joker... even he didnt say a word.. simply looking at his face.. u will laugh non-stop... can u imagine.. my class atmosphere was so down... when everyone is down to work their coding.. and only my team like a "market" and having party...
frankly specking.. even i dun know my classmate well... i enjoy being with them more... compare to....
**today we played so much.. i think somehow neglected my studies.. i actually very worried... with the poor foundation of java... and a bunch of playful teammates... i am really worried... but somehow.. CK convince me tat... it's jus a diploma cert... u work so hard.. it is also the same cert.. y dun u enjoy.. relax.. free urself from stress... be a happy person in the class when everybody look so sian, tired and stress... u still have a big wide smile on ur face and laughed... it sound so true.. haha...
i jus wan to be tat simple.. be happy... and be pure... be happy and be pure.. be happy and be pure... happy and pure.. be happy and be pure...

** and i am concern about YOU... if the whole world is against you.. stay strong... dun fall... and dun avoid me... i am not like the rest... i understand u... cos i have been thru it... i know... Yes i know.. i will help you... dun ask me to stop wasting my effort... cos i need ur help too... my thoughts are not any better too... =) **

injured finger... so pain.. deep cut...

2005-07-03T01:04:00.000-07:00

This day fruitful day.. started off with ministry... thanks Wen Han for his help... his is first time doinf W05 with me.. and probably the last time.. cos this would be his last serving before he goes in NS on coming friday... wah.. so surprise.. i actually have so many fren going NS this year... btw.. serving was fun.. not to mention those naughty ones tat make me angry...

den went back to church.. nv got my chance to eat my dinner... was busy helping to cut the prayer list... they are in a rush... so while have to be fast and give a good job... i accidently cut my finger... wah a deep cut... i am so scare tat i cried... the bleeding jus won't stop in many ways i tried... it wont stop!! i am so scare... i needed to go down service in a few moment time... and bleeding wont stop... i very scare.. really.. den adeline bring me to the reception to bandage... she applied cream even the bleeding didnt stop... she den put on the cloth... the blood stain was all over it.. look so ugly...

went down to service.. everybody so concern... very gan dong... alot came and asked wat happen... as if i really broke my finger... alot teach me wat to do... like to stop the bleed etc... thanks guys.. i felt ur concern already.. thanks ya...

the service was good... thanks Pastor Kong.. u never fail to encourage and challenge... =)

blogging mood is on my side.. haha...

2005-07-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

oh yes.. been a few days since i last blogged... anyway.. i am not tat busy afterall... i am jus lazy.. haha.. no cure...

On wednesday 29 June
No school... oh yes... of cos.. went out... meet up my classmate- Jayne and Yijun for the movie... we watched A lot like love... which reminds alot of Yi Jun's past memories... He said he used to be like the Oliver - main actor in the show, and those things tat happen much the same.. after the show.. Jayne rushed for bible study.. and (shh... Yi Jun skipped) opps... Unfortunately, we saw someone at the wrong time.. opps... anyway.. i skipped too.. partly cos Joyce was not going... i dun wan to be alone... so...
tat day Yi jun shared alot of things to me.. and reveal some untold *secrets.. alrite.. promise i wont say.. *zip*

Thursday 30 June
Back to sch.. the first lesson on web multi-media... i like this module... today we doing music video... which i really like... we started from having a story board, all the way to the shooting... it was so tiring... but i really did enjoy myself.. even to the extend tat i have to skip my lunch.. it was all worth it... Kenneth, my Favorites facilitator, say he have high expectancy on us.. so honour sia... i think he very good to our team.. especially to me.. last week.. our team did so badly, tat we totally did the wrong things.. i thought i will get a C this time.. so i was so discourage... tat i didnt even talk during our presentation... but but but... when i know my teammates, instead of C.. they got B.. and me.. SHOCK! i got A.. omg... where on earth.. got such a nice person like him.... every week he will have comment for individually in our daily grade.. i like to read his comment for me.. so the comment for tat week was

" Appreciate your comments and contribution during class time and your forever enthusiastic response.Try to initiate and develop better strategies for problem solving in your work group in future if you meet up with the same kind of team mate again. Feel free to approach me if you need advices regarding this. I felt you have demonstrated a good learning attitude. I hope you can influence other team mates positively. "

so good rite.. as if i was the leader of the team... haha.. i think from now onwards... i will save all his comments down... hahaha... den one day post it all out... haha..
the next highlight for today was- Cell group meeting... yea.. it was great.. from games to praise and worship to word of God... POWERFUL.. especially Sister Jiaying challenge us to give in arise and build.. the lychee story tat she shared... the sacrifice she made tat time...

On friday 1 July
The worst module of all - JAVA! nearly fainted.. i almost loss heart.. the fac dun even wanna care for our team... He was like ignore us.. and our questions.. can u imagine he went to other teams.. say alots of things.. helped them with the code... blah blah... when it comes to our team.. It was like doing out of his duty... and hope to get rid of us asap... he purposly walked away from us... where on earth.. got a person like him! We felt so discourage... like we are really hopeless... he asked the class whether we want to change team... his question was posted like specially dedicated to us... I know he dun like our team... most of us did badly on our UT.. a few of us got E and F.. i think he suspect it was from our team... haha.. anyway i got C.. which was above average.. as he said this time was a difficult one... " HEy... dun look down on us ok" ... after sch.. we came to our team.. wanted to know more about us.. Most of us kept quiet.. refused to let him know... how we laughed thru out the day of his foolish act... anyway... he mentioned tat... we are the " Mystery Team"... in some way... I agreed.. haha...

If God is for us, who can be against us...

2005-06-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

Read on the teenage mag tat my sister bought...
there was tis articles...
Highlighted :
Thought for the month :
It is not easy to say
"I'll stand by my friend."
But how many have the
moral strength to do so?
It is easy to pledge loyalty
in good times when all's well,
but it is the true friend
who will stand by you when
things don't do well.
Be discerning when you choose a friends
- The right choice will mean a lot
When the chips are down..

Interestingly.. The article say don't aim to have many friends. Often most of them should really be referred to as acquaintances. Some people say' I have two good friend". Wow! You are blessed if you have two good friends. DOnt's go for quantity; go for quality when it comes to friendship.... True friendship is never based on externals like money, looks and position, all of which can easily be lost. C'mon.. we should settle for the shallow things.... True friends value qualities that are precious and dont diminish with the passing of time...

* treasure ur friends ya*

Kolina are you ok?

2005-06-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

oh no... Kolina is not feeling unwell.. and this is her exam week... *Hey... pls pray for her ok..*

My day with my teammates.. was erm... "ok".. as usual bully by jing wei.. he keep making fun of wat i do.. and wat i say.. but today was consider one of the very good day already.. cos Wei Jie is not around.. if they happen combine power, i will doubly dead...

i think i will do well for this module.. not becos i clever... i think the fac like our team very much.. especially me... cos she every time come to my team... and very happy... will act like fren fren like tat.. the more she is good to me.. the more i stress sia.. she expect me to be very good girl.. which i am not.. so i have to pretend.. today's lesson consider one of the toughest.. yet i think is pretty relax.. and we are able to come out with the solution at the end of the day... all thanks to JIng wei... and of cos my fren tat send me their answer... haha... alrite.. is not the answer ok.. it's the understanding...

yea.. tmr no sch... finally i can sleep to late morning... didnt really have enough sleep these few days... i also dun wan to think alot of things.. jus wanna let my brain rest.. let my mind stay empty and blank... not becos i lazy.. becos i wan to absorb more things.. haha... oh ya.. having UT on thurs... which means gotta study.. * so pray for me *

C' mon.. let's not be shallow people...

2005-06-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today my first day of sch... OS sucks...
super didnt enjoy my class... i sound so dead when i present.. sound so sleepy tat i might fall anytime during our presentation.. haha.... tat's my day.. didnt got to enjoy it anyway...
A few things i wanted to say to some people...

To Wei Hao aka Samuel : Happy Birthday! May the Lord Radiant Smile always shine on you...

To Kolina : Other than Jia you and Jia you.. wanna tell u.. u have all my blessing in ur exam... I will continue to shower u with prayers... all the best.. You can do it!

To Eugene : You really have a never ending story to tell... everytime come out with new dreams.. wondering who that "Her" that could be in ur life...

I remember once Jacob said " DOnt be too shallow, dun look at things at the appearance or at the outward surface".. I jumper and shouted "YES"... dun look for the what the world normally looks for in a relationship.. what the world look for ... " Looks and beauty" - which i think is so temporal... how long can it last for?? We should look at the heart and character... Seek to know the person better ya...

** you will always have my suppory ya**

( oh ya.. use this chance to help advertise of Eugene's birthday party... On 8 sept.. ya.. anyone interested... go to him personally... wahaha)

school starting tmr...

2005-06-26T23:57:00.000-07:00

yea... say bye bye to my holidays... prepare to go sch already..
sian.. sian.. sian...
today i went shop ard.. bought a few clothes... and it's proven tat it is more fruitful to shop with gers... haha... i really not in the mood to blog...
is it.. wat have i done during my holidays... basically is nothing...
I really worried about Kolina... dunno how's everything right now... did she complete wat she wan to study? stressed? tmr is GP paper.. mus jia you ok! i will praying for u ok...
My days... simple...
waited and waited... for???
School tmr... mentally not prepare...

** What could it be? **

I am still fighting.. have u given up ?

Empty title... Complete feeling..

2005-06-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

i got too many things to blog at this times... i guess i jus summarise here and there.. anyway u guys also dunno wan me to nag here rite...
On friday... 24 June 05
Meet up with naz.. we when to Novotel hotel near clark quay, we totally dunno where it was.. confused, dunno wat to do.. and very pissed off... we took a cab down.. we were supposed to hand in our passport size pictures to get our identity cards made. Met the person and he made the cards instantly. den we rushed down to meet Eugene and Benjamin for dinner, supposingly we should rush off to Raffles place to start the job immed, but naz was so reluctant to go, and i wasnt so willing too... plus Eugene's comments here and there... so ya more or less u guys can expected wat will happen next... so we are convinced.. we went to shop around.. frankly speaking... me and naz agree shopping with guys are very uncomfortable... i dunno.. cos guys shop too fast... haha.. alrite.. i was kidding anyway...

On saturday.. 25 June
As usaul.. if u follow my blog close enough.. the same old stuff.. started the day from ministry... bring the kids back and fro... ya.. thanks wei hao for the help.. we gotta help this group of kids to group... i like his sharing too... think gotta learn alot from him.. His attitude towards life is also very good.. very spiritual thoughts... i really like...
u guys heard me saying... good service alot of times... but this service.. so how i felt lack of something... i dunno.. maybe.. i saw Kolina and yan ming sitting so far away from us... and the people left are so few... so uncomfortable... ya.. Kolina said we should not stay in our comfort zone anymore.. it's time for me to step out!

Dedicate this to Kolina
Hey ger, i read ur blog... always u are the one encouraging me.. but i see u not doing so well in ur studies and i couldnt help u.. i feel so bad.. especially ur recent post... u sounded so stressed.. and i can do nothing... i really dun wan u to feel so bad abt urself... Put in ur best effort and leave the rest to God... With ur limit, u can only do so much, but with God.. it is possible.. u know it is POSSIBLE.. i dun need to explain wat is possible to you ba, i guess u know... izzit rising the dead harder than u passing ur exam? If God can rise the dead.. wat make u think tat He can't pass ur exam?
Life is not about passing ur exam only... there are so many cases, tat people are so successful,
they didnt fulfil their pri school.. so i really dun understand the need of feeling so bad abt urself... =)
and also ur ideas of packing urself with ministry... i think u are making the matters worst.. C'mon.. give urself a break.. pray to God.. ask urself wat you really wan.. wat is His plan for you... it's not ur life anymore... It's His! Do u live for urself? or for Him? Dear Sister, Please don't think u are fighting the battle alone... You have me.. and of cos God... Dont give in to the devil... C'mon overcome it... This is wat i told myself... the God who is bigger than the whole world is in YOU, is in KOLINA... can u imagine how big is Singapore... den how be the WORLD can be.. God who is bigger than the world is in KOLINA... isnt it wonderful??

* Sister, i will keep you in my prayer list and let's move forward ok... I will be always by your side... take care **

Fruitful day..

2005-06-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

The whole thursday i didnt get to have a chance to online... so tis blog is wat happen on thursday..
Started off the the youth camp in church..
The first session conduct by Sister Katherine.. The games.. it was fun! We suppose to find out the Murderer with some hint given here and there... we went ard the church to find the character in the story.. sound like real detective rite... it was fun anyway!
Bro Andrew was a very entertaining Speaker.. i like his preaching about leadership.. the comparison between weak, good and a GREAT leader.. it was applicable... i simply like those points which was given by him...
3rd session.. by our beloved Pastor CK.. which was good as well.. The message was design for me... especially the part where he lay his hand on me.. the power of God filled me.. and i want to be found in His presence... we sang the song... ** I never wan to be apart.. from You ever again**
~ Youth Camp ended with the song Exordinary lead by Jerrick ~

Rushed off the place.. headed towards Toa Payoh with Eugene... We took a cab down... on the way.. Eugene told me he know about someone i dun like in the cell.. not really dun like.. but somehow jus dun feel good... but but how could he knew tat! i wonder who have told him? alrite.. stop guessing who's the person is...
Reach tat place... yea.. so happy to see all my cell group members... and Kolina and yan ming from other cell group... Even though they are from other cell group... we still very much welcome them... dunno can they continue to join our cell group anot... and this week heard from Yanming that they are offically sitting with their cell group during service already... okie... it's all God's plan.. and i will send them my best wishes... Especially Kolina.. dun be too stress in your study... I got a feeling you are going to make it tis time.. really.. God bless you... ** You guys will be miss **

nono.. i am brother...

2005-06-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

yea.. tis few days is go out go out and go out!! sorry for not blogging for a few days.. cos partly becos of someone lor.. you know who u are... He make me so guilty as if i really did something wrong.. i was very sad ok.. but in the realise it is a misunderstanding afterall...
alrite on monday.. intend to watch movie.. but the plan failed.. so end up play pool, have dinner and fellowship etc.. initially the pool players are zhengwei, jacob, Eugene, Benjamin and me.. after pool headed PS to meet shuJun and Jieying for dinner and fellowship.. but they almost finish their dinner... half of them gone home and left with me benjamin and Eugene... the poor 3 of us.. waited so long for the food... Q-ing, shifting and etc... finally settle down and start eating... after a few bites.. the security chase us off.. cos THERE IS FIRE in the PS building... wat the... i really felt not satisfy you know.. den the smart ben go " Da bao" the rice and eat on the halfway... he really power la.. nag from PS to Cine... Pro Pro...
den settle down at the food court and start chit chatting... tok abt those time working in the factory where i got to know ben and stuff... and the people there are very nice.. a group of fun-loving ppl.. and i did enjoy my days over there.... even though we always kanna scolded... but i actually like it.. haha...
the day is not ended yet with something very bad happen! which i refer to the misunderstand i mention earlier on... ya anyway was settle la..

so today.. becos the movie plan failed on tuesday... we went for movie on today.. Me Eugene and jacob watch premonition.. ** the guy sitting infront is very tall ok** sian.. anyway was a not bad movie la.. not scary... but story line.. ok la not bad.. after movie went for pool.. and after pool.. we go have a light supper.. talk craps... ya.. went home and end the day.. in between the day alot of things happen.. like i lied over something... ya the detail was not suppose to mention here... so ya.. I repent... Tmr gonna be a better day! Amen!

Just Push

2005-06-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

Friends, i came across this interetsing website... have a look k.. hope u like it...
http://inspirations.crossdaily.com/push/

Shop till you drop...

2005-06-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

today meet up with Eugene and ZhengWei.. basically jus shopping and crapping.. shopping and crapping... You push me and i push you... they make me look like a fool in public lor.. keep bullying me... so fun playing with the F language... i still not very good with it.. so i goes "hafahafa" all the way.. so fun!!

i wan watch movie... ghost train and Mr and Mrs smith.. wah time really flies... i think my holidays starting soon.. so gotta accomplish all my enjoyment tis week.. ** pray that time goes slower.. i haven enjoy enough yet.. haha**

wah.. nowsaday.. my blogging skill really not up to date.. entry becoming shorter and shorter.. haha.... alrite gotta end here... see ya.. enjoy ur stay here... bye...

Making Decisions

2005-06-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

The story given here is quite interesting and really gives us an insight into DECISION MAKING.This was not my first time coming arcoss this story, i simply love it and wanna share with you guys...

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still inuse while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. It was not possible to stop the train but You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.....Which one will you choose?

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. To save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place? Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish orignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.To make the proper decision is not try to change the course of the train because the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens.If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe.If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realise that hasty decisions may not always be the right one."Remember that what's right isn't always popular...and what's popular isn't always right."Remember: Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

small gathering

2005-06-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

alrite.. the main highlight of the day.. me togther with my sister, summer, chu ki, we went to shi hwee house cos she prepare steamboat for us.. it was really very rare tat we could come together in fellowship ever since we left our secondary life... can said we go on different direction to pursue each of our dream... although me, my sister and summer still keep in contact once in awhile when we bump into each other in church.. or better still my sister even got into the same school and course with summer... it was really fortunate isnt it... how many of u actually keep in contact with childhood friends??? I do...

but nevertheless... we come together.. still shared the same joy.. especially.. when we were reminded of those silly things we used to do... from the drama... to the friendship.. to the project.. haha... you know la.. the very famous thing was to friend you and not to friend you all those stuff.... lolx...

Yes indeed we all have grown up.. in the way we think.. we still very use to those childish thinking we have... seriously.. we have to put away those childish thinking... frankly speaking... i dun like to grow up.. but i have to accept it.. it is part of my life.. a process tat we all have to go through...

Shi hwee changes the most.. i can see the mature she have in her... i think she go through alot.. and from the stubborness i used to see in her... to now a responsible mother... Time flies.. one moment we are still in our uniform pushing each other.. the other moment... a mother of 2 months baby.. wow... baby's name was " Xavien Teo Yi Xiang" ...

We all have grown up isn't it? Now i learn to use words properly.. no more "anyhow language".. i also learn to treasure things... and cherish people around me.. yes indeed everyone has their own story to tell.. we go through different things.. no matter wat mistakes we made.. how we overcome it... Life is not going to be the same again.. we move on and we grow up... bear it through and make things happen...

Life is not simple at the first place.. Live it...

** To my Daddy in Heaven, Happy Fathers' Day! **

i like my wallet...

2005-06-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Yes i like my wallet.. cos the picture jus fix in so wel... well..
Yesterday was really a fruitful day... started to serve.. tis time i got Wei Hao aka Samuel here to help me.. Yea... finally man.. have been so long since he served with me last time... Kids will mistaken as he was one of the kids in the bus.. haha... So i have to introduce him.. tis is " Teacher Samuel"... and blah blah.. ** Serving and keep serving**

So as usual after serving went to service... Yes.. It was father's day... and blur me was like asking around.. " Huh? Tmr is father's day? U sure? how come tmr father's day and i dunno a single bit about it".. haha.. i was still blur until i saw the Father's day drama.. it was really very good.. very touching... I like it... really.. very very good.. two thumb up for them...
but but but... i didnt prepare anything for my father.. i dun think my family even bother to do anything... even my mother dun encourage too.. haiz.. cos she said.. tis kind of people.. no need to celebrate for him... alrite.. tis is not the way man.. i really dunno... * Sob Sob*
~~ Happy Father's Day, Dad! ~

okie.. the service.. i was waiting and waiting.. i resevered a seat beside me for yan ming.. but sadly she was late and i have to give up the seat.. haiz.... Nevertheless the message was really very impactful.. i think it kinda link with the arise and build which is in 3 weeks times... I simply love Pastor Kong preaching... He mentioned 4 Truth..
The first truth : Money draw your HEART to where you invest it.
The second truth : Money is not evil.
It's the love of moeny and the greed that you have being the root of evil.
The third truth : Money take on your PERSONALITY
Pasto kong said here... Money gives you wat u always wanted to do.. yes.. i agree.. i got a little money.. i went to buy a wallet... it gives me wat i always wanted to do...
Money reflect and magnify you..
Pastor KOng also gives a very interesting example.. which i really like.... it was about people coming to church for cheap entertainment.. haha... only silly people do tat... blah blah so on..
the fouth truth : Money is your life
Fixth : Your money is your life multiply..

We are not called to be poor.. But God gives us wealth...
I know i am very fortunate.. Mummy know i didnt work.. she blessed me with a sum of money.. which i very glad.. i have a habit.. when money gives me money.. i always push back to her... the more i push back.. the more she gave me.. tis time when i was sleeping.. she said she place the moeny on my cupboard.. but it was $150.. i was like "wah".. so much.. why suddenly give me so much money... as usual i told her.. i dun wan.. and i dun need so much... I am not a greedy person ok! I know she loves me.. Pastor said.. where ur treasure is.. and where ur heart will be... so i totally agree on tat... Thanks Mama.. i love you too... * Muacks Muacks**

Interesting Analysis

2005-06-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

Very true analysis...read on..
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway
If you are kind, people may accuse you of having selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
IF you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

"You see, in the Final analysis, it is between you and God
It was never between you and them anyway.

It was a interesting analysis...
If you love God, people may say nasty things.
But love God anyway.

And everyone say AMEN!

The song Pastor Kong composed...

2005-06-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

Once I have turned my face
From thee
Yet you sought me
And you cleansed me
Made me whole again
Jesus my saviour, my beloved and friend
Your praises, I bring
From my heart, I sing

Draw me, oh draw me away Messiah today
To Your presence to stay
Oh Jesus now change me
And mould me
That I can be
Evermore true to thee

You are the shepherd of my heart
You have brought me to your chamber
My master and king
You light up my darkness
And gave me Your Word
That You'll never forsake me
Nor no ever will leave me

i like this song.. it really bring down the presence of God.. especially when my beloved Pastor Kong sang it.. tears jus couldnt stop flowing out from my eyes.. deep within my heart, i know i am touched.. so much into His presence.. i like to mingle with it.. and i will never be apart from You ever again...

I am happy and i know why...

2005-06-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

yea.. today i am very happy... and i want to keep it a secret... shh... haha...
haha... wake up at 9 plus today and saw Sister Mayce sms asking me to help out on her project... totally lost! duno wat should i do.. suppose to reach khabit at 11.. and i jus wake up at 9 plus with no plan... and at the end of her sms.. i saw "kolina helping me".. alrite so sms-ed Ko.. so ya.. asked abit here and there... okie.. decide to go help out with the fact tat i am having a briefing later on.. and i am reaching amk at 1:40.. i dunno whether i have tat time anot.. only know to have faith...
so reached Khabit at 11.. saw Kolina.. as expected... but but... haha.. dunno how to say.. suddenly the feeling abit werid... for so long.. never like walk together like tis.. abit... dunno how to say.. normally have yan ming ard to cover the embarrass situation... but today dun have wor.. ya.. but at least show some breakthrough... tis is wat i call.. everything settle ok!
so ya.. reached tat place.. crap a little before starting the FORMAL survey... it was really abit scary ok.. out of no where.. will point to u and ask.. so wat do u think of blah blah.. ok.. it was about body shop.. Sister Mayce at the very last min cannot find any body shop user.. so we go there act act lor.. little did we know.. those people surrounded us are all pros... oh.. really.. **bish bish** haha..
it was 1 plus when it finally finished.. and sister mayce ask me to forget about going to tat briefing cos she think it was kinda unsafe.. as it was found in the friendster advertisement... and she mentioned " mai pi gu".. omg.. sound so awful... haha.. so ya.. there i was abit reluctant to go too... and was kinda convince by them.. so i called my fren and asked the organiser to sort the things out..
after that we have our lunch at nearby AMK S-11.. other than Sister Mayce and Kolina.. we have together with us.. Jason, Melvin and their fren.. "Zhong Guo" (izzit.. i guessed).. i onli heard sister mayce mention about china and kolina said "Zhong Guo".. okie watever... happily chit chatted.. blah blah..
next we ahead today CityLink ... Esplanade.. they practice their guitar over there.. and later.. Eugene and issace joined us... and i guessed i am really kind of extra.. cos i dun play.. but i was really inspire by them.. it was so nice.. how i wish one day.. i could able to carry my own guitar and play my own song while worshipping God during my quiet time... i learnt a few ways of struming.. thanks to Jason... and of cos the rest.. hope i can fulfil my dream one day...
to end here.. it was really very happy.. knowing tat everything should have come to an end.. i mean at least it was a happy ending... i know the new beginning is starting soon for you and me... so let's move on together... all the best!

cell group meeting...

2005-06-15T23:57:00.000-07:00

first congrats to benny for the new nice blogskin.. credit abit to myself also.. cos i helped him till 3 plus den went to bed... ai ya.. really not eazy ok.. from finding a nice blogskin which cannot be to girly... to the tagboard.. blah blah.. tired leh.. wanna know the final result .. check benny's blog out! - http://quoll17.blogspot.com/

okie.. today.. at least not a slacking day.. started from playing pool with Joyce, shuzhen and Eugene... wah.. they really trash me ok... gotta improve.. so ya.. after than rushed off for CGM at clementi, Pine Grove.. so long never been to the function.. rem the last time i went... was last year.... i guessed... nothing have change.. except....

alrite... CGM was great.. started off with the game... haha.. each of us.. get a piece of paper.. so wat i got... the word "robin" so i suppose to find another which got "hood".. so sister mayce use me as an example..
she said "Jane, wat did u got..."
Me : Robin...
Mayce : "den u mus find "hood"
so Eugene come over.. obviously he is holding on the "hood" piece of paper... so sister Mayce says tat it was not counted.. she took back the paper.. and gave him another one.. which is "Robin" so i searched around...since sister mayce took back the "hood" piece of paper... i was left with no parnter... so i asked her.. if can "Robin" "Robin".. so i can partner with Eugene...
ya.. so finally got partner... den suppose to know the detail of each other.. so i hope we wont be called... so unfounately.. we are called.. oh man... so i was given the question of whether at which date is Eugene going to NS... Phew.. i know it was on sept.. but the actual date i do not know.... so lucky Eugene promted "nine" okie.. so ya.. i know... haha...
but Eugene.... do not know my birthday!!! I told him before ok... okie.. i am disappointed...
i know when is ur birthday ok.. 8 Sept rite... u so bo xin.. dun fren u le...

ya the nxt game... short cut abit.. we were seperated into 2 group.. to answer question... so ya.. my group won... thanks to nicholas.. He sang our sch song... "Chong boon" .. it was nice...

the drama was not bad.. i know it is very last mintue work.. so they did a good job ok! yea yea... the message sister Jiaying preached.. i hope really planted a seed of faith into our life.. especially the new fren... ok stop here.. if not i go on and on non-stop... haha... nite nite...

nothing nothing plus nothing

2005-06-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

doing nothing at home.. slacking all the way...
i hate the feeling of slacking.. make my life seem so meaningless and unfruitful...
oh God.. i dun wan waste my life.. dun wan waste my time... cannot think of nothing much better to do... tis gonna be a super boring entries.. full of complaint and rubbish...
i wan to grow myself in the word of God.. so i spot this Anti-nomianism CD.. so i wil be so great to listen to it again... so i like tis particular point where pastor mention.. about the external and internal obedience.. using Pharisees's hypocrite as example... external obedience without internal attitude is hypocrite... which is obeying the law with the wrong motive... and God.. knows the underneath motive and intention ok... so i pray.. i dun wan to be like the Pharisees.
true faith lead to obedience...
Amen!

tired.. stress out... but not give up...

2005-06-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

hey.. wat a fruitful day i had.. yesterday.. was too tired to blog... so ya.. here i am to update u guys... yesterday.. as early as 12.30 i have to reach cck for my ministry.. the kids are all excited.. cos they are going to sentosa.. haha.. we kids having fun.. and teacher suffer... it's not easy.. ezpecially to sentosa... not like science center.. or other places... where it is enclosed... and is easier to manage where the kids only will lost in tat place... but sentosa was so big.. plus alot of ppl... and sun was so big... kids were complainting here and there... being a teacher also mus be alert not to lose any kid.. cos we are really respomsible for them... cannot let them wander ard alone.. make sure are here.. blah blah.. i was really sweating like mad ok.. no kidding.. really not easy...

so can u imagine.. after tat i still have my service.. and i smell so not nice... with the sweat.. and thanks to some kids for contributing the sand on my body.. haha.. but anyway.. hope they enjoy themselves..

so i reach church.. toward cafe.. buy myself Spaghetti.. sat down.. chatted with joyce and her fren... start take a few bite and saw sister Jiaying.. went forward and tell her my fren went to service 3 instead of 4.. she asked me to go down... but it was already in the middle of the service.. and no point... i cant sit with my fren as well... so being obedience instead of unwilling.. i went down ALONE! okie.. the sermon was diff from service 4.. and i really like the points tat pastos Kong teach...
Praise God.. for Benny- my classmate.. came for service.. he told me pastor kong was a good preacher... amen... benny always challenge me of my faith toward God.. asking me of his doubts.. and unsolvable question tat doesnt make sense... i mean it was ok la.. so everyday.. when i see him on msn... i slowly tell him bit by bit of wat i understand... i believe in planting a small seed inside of him first.. yea.. along with benny was two other indonesia fren.. Praise God.. for indonesia revival... yea.. they are very friendly... no stress in fellowshipping with them... haha.. i bring them ard the church... i like to hear the indo language even though i dun understand.. i like the way they speak.. it was so nice... i wan to learn their language....

although.. got abit conflict here and there, becos of which cell group they should go to... okie.. i was fine with it if they go to another cell.. becos we all are in the same family.. same kingdom of God.. doesnt matter rite...i really dun mind..

anyway.. i was abit late for service 4.. i went in when they started praise already.. so i sat ALONE again... i brought the envelope... and have no chance to pass it to her.. haiz.. in fact.. i bring every week ok... next time ba.. haha.. i think going to be no chance le.. cos u guys going other cell.. which mean.. didnt sit with us... okie.. wish u guys all the best ok... God bless...

last day of emerge...

2005-06-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

morning.. everyone.. i jus wake up... haha..
yesterday i slept at 4 plus am.. cos was chatting and chatting away in msn..
alrite.. sure wanna know wat happen at the last day of emerge rite... yes.. i was very good.. wat a lovely service.. we sang the song " That's wat friends are for".. you know.. tat moment.. feel like walk over and my sisters a hug.. but.. but... i didnt.. haiz...
during service.. it our very own pastor chee kiang's turn to share his testimony.. it was good one... we saw our cell group picture on th LCD screen... it was "wow"
anyway.. the presence of God did strongly move in the audi when we sang the indonesia song... thanks to Kolina's sms.. the lyrics plus explaination.. i really like tat song.. it goes....
" Dan kuingin
mengenal Mu Tuhan,
lebih dalam dari s'mua yang kukenal,
tiada kasih
yang melebihiMu
Ku ada untuk menjadi
penyembahMu "

which is translated...

" And i wnt to know you,
deeper than anything that i know
no love that can be greater than Yours
i exist to be Yous worshipper"

wat a wonderful song...
not ended with the song "jumpin in the jam".. it was a good song.. and i guess we are not pump up.. and was in for a great time... ~ i am doin doin doin it God's way... ~~~ all i want to know.. is the blah blah blah abt you.. EVERYBODY SCREAM!!! Haha..　 it was truly fun!!
now is already 11am.. i woke up so late.. initiall wanted to meet Kolina and Yanming to drink coffee at tiong baru... but i think i cannot make it already.. haiz...
chatted with Ko yesterday.. about the ministry things... many a times... it not about doing the right things... it doing about what the Holy spirit has lead you... being a spiritual leader... can do alot of things that was so busy... serving... giving bible study.. attend service.. blah blah.. but was lead my the spirit.. which was pointless.. pastor said this " it not the principle in the bible... it the feeling, the encounter we have... " it was so true...
chatted with Eugene too.. find out with have almost same encounter in life but truly wrong decision... not gossip.. but we truly have different taste.. haha...
tmr.. have excursion with the kids during my ministry.. i dunno how it was like.. but i hope it is managable...

** I wan to live for God..
becos to die is a gain...
to live is a challenges... ****

see see...

2005-06-09T02:21:00.000-07:00

http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty.htm

Second day of emerge...

2005-06-09T01:48:00.000-07:00

oh.. i miss the first session for the day... can say did it on purpose.. partly cos i was too tired.. i forgot wat time i slept.. i know i cried myself to bed... anyway... i went for the second session which was the word power and preaching challenges... once again.. i left half way through the session to Q-up for the evening session.. alrite.. say me "KiaSu" or "typical Singaporean".. i am hungry for God's word ok.. i dun wish to miss it...

yes.. indeed.. i know and i know.. the service wont never fail to disappoint me.. it was so great.. presence of God was so strong.. and the new indonesia song.. though i cant understand.. but i really like it... hope i can really learn how to pronouce every word correctly... the message about revival in sch.. reach out to campus blah blah... really challenges me once again.. and put back the fire of reaching out... i hope tis was not only jus a moment of exictment but i wan it to last on and on...

hmm.. yes.. finally.. after so long.. we spoke! through phone... and also the "bye" at the end... ok.. at least it took me courage to do it!

It seems like yesterday...
it jus couldn't go away...
Time really flies...
It was no longer you and me anymore...
You stood in front of me...
yet it was so far...
Making changes is jus another excuse
to make us feel better...
Mistake force us to learn...
It is not your fault... neither is mine...
We jus live in a world with an uncertain future...
Nobody expect unhappy things to happen...
Jus gotta face it...
Pain could be healed.. but scar remain...
I longed and searched for the real self too...
but everybody seems so fake...
No point arguing who's right or wrong...
Even sorry won't cure...
I still wished and prayed...
That you could have life that is more abundantly
There is one life.. life it to the fullest...
All the best... A sister... forever...

Emerge confernce day 1

2005-06-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

ya.. how should i start to blog about this great day i had...
actually started off meeting angel... at amk... den meet eugene at boon lay.. den all the kids like - huiying, tommy, darran come along.. wah.. for a moment i thought.. oh God.. but den really thanks God for Eugene.. lucky i met him.. if not i really cant imagine.. me alone sitting with the kids.. handling them all by myself.. and they are not those good good type ok.. they bully me one.. haiz... i really dun like...

den the second session was talentime.. it was great... the drama very funny... nice song too... while Q-ing up.. yan ming broke a very unhappy news.. unexpected it was so fast.. i dun wan ok.. i dun wan!!

alrite... come to the most exciting part of my day.. the third session was my fav.. POS!!! i thought it was the POS tat make me feel pump up.. so me and yan ming squeezed our way through the audi.. only the 2 of us.. shouldnt be too difficult to find a sit ba.. tat's wat i thought.. no i was totally wrong.. even there is no space for us to sit on the floor... it was really really packed.. thanks to one usher tat bring us to sit on somewhere tat was totally no view to the stage.. i was thinking... even over-flow room will be better... den during the performance.. me and yanming stand up and move to the side which we could see better... lucky the usher allow... yes.. the performance was really good... but it shall not end here.... u know i saw people leaving the audi after POS! wat a waste man.... do they know how many people outside dun even have space to watch... the seat are sooo much precious ok!
the message was about spiritual hunger... i was thinking.. i am really phyiscally hungry.. cos i was fasting the whole day.. den i jus ate a small shroom meal.. it can only last for a while la.. lol..but it was all worth it.. exchanging the the presence of God... especially... the song where pastor Kong compose himself... voom.. the presence of God.. came... so mightly.. even i can feel it at the back... wah.. so strong.. really i felt very good and it comfort me.. i felt so much better... i cried like there was no tmr.. i couldnt open my eyes... i know i was so close to God... u know wat... the one thing i like about pastor Kong.. he was so true.. so real.. man of God.. Sun was so lucky.. lol..

alrite.. whole thing ended with a hug from yanming... thanks.. tat's was really comforting.. i will miss you very much.. really she bu de u guys wor... dun forget me ok...

I confirmed something...

2005-06-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

alrite.. today was my offically holidays.. yea...
on sunday.. i go my aunt's hse and dye my hair.. hmm... highlighted red color.. look kinda cool.. but i dun like too many ppl to notice me when i walked down the street.. i wan to keep low profile.. lolx...
and also.. we went to play pool with my sister and cousin... take some neoprint.. lolx.. so funny... my scanner got some prob.. so couldnt upload the pics yet.. so stay tune ah...
haiz.. yeseterday something really bad happened... haiz.. yes.. and tat confirm me of something.. something i knew it very long ago... Jane ar Jane.. when can u grow up?? i hope can let tis matter rest first ba...at least for tis moment... i didnt really bring good influence to my cell group... wat a shame... haiz...
alrite.. learn to be far away from people.. is the only solution.. pls dun squeeze ur way through to know my life ok.. it stink.. lolx..
to: "my friend" thanks for encourging me so much.. i really appreciate tat... i really hope u are not influence by me.. at least not for negetive side.. next move on together ba.. Jia you..
** to my tagger.. pls leave ur real identity**
thanks thanks...

jason say "summer's presence?"

2005-06-05T00:12:00.000-07:00

lol.. the service was simply jus too great.. i wanted to write every down in my blog here.. to share it with u guys... but.. i dunno where to start.. i was abit lazy as well.. so.. too bad le...

children church service.. everytime.. never fail to give me the strong presence of God, you know.. i felt so much deep into His presence.. i think God is good.. even to those kids... but some kids jus dunno how to appreciate... in the middle of worship.. "teacher, can bring me go toilet..." -.-"

i think the fire of reaching out is coming back again.. yea yea.. seeing so many members bring frens.. i really felt very glad abt it.. which mean i will really need to buck up.. not for man's sake.. but for God ok! I am also urgent about winning the lost.. but dun pressure me can...

btw to kolina: my previous entry was not attacking u.. so pls dun misunderstood... it's not jus you.. i found other doing about the same things.. well, i am fine with it.. it's ur blog.. ur preference... whether it's real or not.. really not up to me to say.. it's about how u feel... i think u spend time writting those past entries, didnt you.. becos of somebody's comment... and u delete away.. have ur stand can... i understand.. maybe u agree.. with sister mayce as well.. alrite.. as i said.. ur prefernce.. *sorry, if i said any wrongs** i dun wan create any more misunderstanding between us again...

chatting all the way..

2005-06-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

yeah.. finally last day of sch.. yea yea.. jane have been waiting for this days for so long... lol..
although today is programming.. and group left the 3 of us.. cos ppl of my classmate choose to pon sch...

as you ppl know i dun like programming.. so i have to act act la.. like i know how to do.. or at least act hardworking la.. so to obtain a better grade.. i know i am fake.. but in this world.. bo bian.. tis is the only way to survive..

so mus be wondering.. if the whole day i wasnt doing programming.. how do i have entertain myself rite.. haha.. lucky got eugene aka yijun.. wah.. chat with lor.. crap here and there in msn.. he very crappy.. den it make time easier to pass la.. thanks ah...

alrite.. shouldnt emphasis on so much on wat i do.. but on how i feel.. but i heard from somewhere tat we should be positive in our blog.. den we should delete away all the previous post which was negative.. becos we should glorify God as a christian to the non-believer as a good example.. i dunno.. maybe my thinking was abit different.. and u could say.. i always come out with all the wrong concept... but wat i feel is.. blog is somewhere that show ourself.. our character.. not only all the happy moment tat show how good God is... but also those discourage time.. where it show how God has pull us up everytime we fall... be real can..

a new song

2005-06-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

COME AND FILL ME HOLY SPIRIT
I SEEK THE WARMTH OF YOUR EMBRACE
LORD I'M LONGING FOR YOUR PRESENCE
JUST ONE TOUCH OF YOUR GRACE
I'LL KEEP ON WAITING, WAITING ON YOU

ALL MY LIFE I SERACHED FOR HEAVEN
MY HEART IT LONG FOR SO MUCH MORE
A LOVE SO TRUE, NOW I'VE FOUND IT IN YOU
I'LL KEEP ON WAITING, WAITING ON YOU

LORD I GIVE MY LIFE
A LIVING SACRIFICE I PLACE AT YOUR FEET
I OFFER TO YOU
FOR ONLY YOU CAN SATISFY MY LONGING
JESUS YOU'RE ALL I DESIRE

LORD I GIVE MY LIFE
A LIVING SACRIFICE I PLACE AT YOUR FEET
MORE THAN WHAT THIS WORLD OFFERS
YOU ARE MY ONLY TREASURE
MY WORLD MEAS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

tis entry got no title...

2005-06-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

Alrite.. apologies to suyan for copyright...
Cos after reading ur blog.. I jus feel so much like commenting...
Some of wat I am gotta write.. is somehow from ur blog.. I somehow agree wat u said "i dun really know the needs to blog, i dun wanna advertise what i am going through, i dun find it a need to tell people what i have been doing the whole day, the sequence of the day, from brushing teeth to changing pajamas to sleep?" me being a blogger lover.... was jus den not very convince... y u contradict urself.. since u so much dun like to blog.. and u are not force... den jus dun bother to write ur entry ba.. u sound so grudgingly and do u so unwillingly isn't?

Okie.. since u mention " I find that blog shouldnt be a kind of thing whereby people jus post what they do for the day, but is about their thoughts towards certain things, maybe they have a word to say, and theses thing we dun really speak to a frenz or really do much chatting to a frenz , agree?" den I say.. " agree” and tis somehow cover up those disagreement I have above... yes.. how you get to know a person better, is not about him/her telling you what he/she had been doing.. afterall it dun show ur personality... I might not leading an interesting life.. but I could have interesting thought to share with you guys..

even.. u can be down for the whole day.. and simple saying "bye" to a very good friend.. can really cheer you up.. haha....

So to those blogger out there.. ppl are not interested about wat's going on with ur life.. it about the opinions you could share over with us... you might spend the whole time writing something u really dun like... but it really doesn't show urself out okie! It's the feeling we want to know...

aRrrrggGGhhh... shit shit shit...

2005-06-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

wah.. today having multi-media.. my fav module of all...
But but but.. while our presentaion is going on.. suddenly the emotion on Kenneth face totally changed.. Kenneth was my fav. faci of all.. he was very joker style and crappy.. his lesson was no stress.. but today... he was so serious!!! " team 1, wat u all do is mostly using effect.. but today lesson is about using technique..." which mean wat we did was totally out of point.. and his comment was soo much serious.. I suddenly felt so stress... and so uncomfortable... it was not the usual him... tis time i was really afraid...

c'mon.. verse to encourage me.. fear not!!
can u imagine... He who is greater than the world is in me!!

**arrgghhh... dun haunt me with the uneasiness***
I NEED A BREAK!

the topic about trust..

2005-06-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

after watch the tv show... wanted to come in and write another entry.. i think having blog is very good.. at least.. come in and voice out my thoughts..

ya.. toking about voice my thought.. yesterday night.. i was spending a few hours chatting with engine about the topic on trust.. ** i think you really have a positive point toward ur life, which is good...** i know you are using ur testimonial to change my thinking as well.. even you feel that our situation is about the same.. and truly understand wat i feel.. but but but i am quite much different from u.. at least.. u changed... u started afresh... ur enviroment change... very happy for u.. I am glad tat u are where u are right now...

but really wanna thanks you.. becos.. i dunno.. i really admire ur determination, u impart something into my life.. but a scar is still a scar.. anyway.. ur strong faith in God.. really make u well... continue the good work.. and i think many will be blessed with ur testimonial..

voom voom...

2005-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

hi guys.. here again to update my life.. i am not busy.. but yesterday... after sch.. as i was wasy about vistation.. i was abit blessed.. cos one of the kids sister... "Jereen" who wanted to join a cell group and emerge... so i was there to reach out to her... so mus gambatte!

so today? i went for jun jie house to give him tuition.. haiz.. he very naughty ah.. dun listen to me.. keep complaining tired.. i bo bian lor.. den after tat.. rushed to dhouby ghaut to meet Eugene, Jason and Issac to play pool.. haha.. quite enjoyable la.. got Jason tat pro entertainer... ownself director cum actor cum audience.. den that Eugene more pro ah.. before tat keep telling me he dunno how to play.. but really cannot trust his word ah.. all so pro de.. and i was there sweating like mad.. haha..

Ps: **To engine... you know who u are... thanks for staying through the night chatting with me.. really knowing about my life doesnt bring any benefit to you... but thanks for ur advices.. i will take into consideration... thanks thanks...**

abit time..

2005-05-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

alrite.. left a bit time for me to blog before i go visitation and.. ya.. intend to complaint something here.. but den.. think over.. haiz.. complaint le also wont make things better.. so forget it ba..

here i come.. update again...

2005-05-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

ya.. as u guys know already.. i went for the cell group outing... wanna know about it?
It was erm... i really dunno how to say... i first i was so unwilling... so slack... as if i dragged myself all the way there.. mainly becos of 2 factors... before the actual outing.. i almost couldnt make it there... so wanting to go back.. but i promised yi jun, i'll be there already.. *den i was praying.. God did u really wan me to go?? why doesnt this things happen at the last min! haiz.. dun ask wat was the thing.. not comfortable of saying... but anyway.. i make my way through.. thanks to Joyce... and there I was appear at the outing**

wah.. if you know me.. i dun like being lecture by ppl.. say some more.. i ask u to shut up.. i am like tat.. say watever u wan... tat's me.. i dun care how u look at me...

but thanks to all of you guys... i really did enjoy myself at least a bit.. haha.. i was so sleepy.. i almost felt asleep at the movie.. den all the laughter wake me up again... it was not tat funny... but i think they jus got to be entertain... so ya.. dun be fakey.. i dun like... if funny den laugh... not funny dun laugh.. dun pretend la... lolx...

alrite.. indeed.. you guys should felt lucky.. that i come in and update my blog.. even i was in this very tired mode.. with the condition.. i got to wake up tmr morning at 6. 15 ok.. no kidding...

** I forgot what the name of the show.. it's a cartoon.. starting with "M".. and very hard to pronouce... haha**

draw lots.. making decision

2005-05-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

ya... when i am on my way to sch.. i thought.. what should i do tis evening... i was wondering to go for the cell group outing, my tuition, or.... den.. all of them stand the equal possiblity to me... i was really stuck and dunno wat to do.. den i make the final decision.. "Draw lots" wahaha.. ok.. i did pray before i draw ok.. so there i was on the bus... praying to God.. i say no matter wat is the outcome, i will follow.. if it is according to Ur will.. i know it sound so ridicular to make decision tis way...

anyway.. "draw lots" is also a decision to make.. den i make decision base on "the last shall be the first", so i eliminate the first lot that i choosen. indeed.. i know you guys are waiting for my final outcome rite.. haha... ya shall reveal.. "to go for the cell group outing".. no matter wat... I am happy..

Life is all about making decision..to do or not to do.. to say or not to say.. to think or not to think... to focus on the positive or the negative.. to believe or not to believe... making wrong decision bring u to no where... and I choose to believe in Jesus, i choose to focus on the Word of God and His promises... and follow Him... (",)

how to start?

2005-05-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

haiz haiz... my previous post was gone.. i dunno why... tis few days always gotta rewrite my entry.. i gotta seem to be so use to it..

anyway was actually writing about have cell group outing tmr.. still wasnt decide whether to go or not... but tis was really rare.. cos we dun have an outing very often, and this where we could really build up our bond like wat sister Jiaying have said, but me always having the feeling wasnt really belong to tis group wasnt really excited about going into it.. but suddenly hear tis from God, "if you feel something is not right, and continue to hide from it.. the reason I placed u here not to complaint but to change it... "

hmm... was talking to pootiex tis afternoon, she ask me to delete something which i was pretty unwilling to do so... she rebuked me... but she said "delete it" as in it was so easy... haiz..

thanks to "lol jie jie" last night.. that i could tok to "her"... i think i gotta pray for breakthrough..

~~ A love that is so true.. and i found it in YOU~~

I am happy and i know...

2005-05-29T01:12:00.000-07:00

shh.. abit happy.. come and ask me den i will tell you... it's sercet.. haha.. actually nothing much also.. not any big deal la...

anyway.. today was a tired day...everybody seem to be so exicted about the emerge.. but y i am not... alamak Jane.. yeah.. it's emerge.. eee.. sound so fakey... hmm.. serving today was fine.. as usual.. gotta shout here and there... then i get very angry cos 2 of the kids gotta leave behind.. when the rest are going up the bus.. anqi and peifen down there toking... they deserve some scolding from me la.. no more nice nice teacher Jane already.. scold them is for their own good okie.. the more i dote them.. the more i am helping them to dig their own grave.. ya.. bear with me.. i know i sound like an aunties...

service was great.. especially the new worship song, my sis said it was not new.. they sang it at the live recording.. i like tat song.. i like the new praise song too...

alrite... jus gotta get yi jun one nick.. "mr lol" cos every sms i received from him got "lol" one lor... werid... i mean ya.. u can laugh.. jus write haha la.. use so many lol.. haha.. quite funny ma.. wanted to laugh at his sms so much...

getting late le.. gotta go off.. tata~

oh gosh...

2005-05-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

bad bad bad..sore eye not getting any better.. i look so ugly now... haiz.. pain pain.. very uncomfortable.. gotta serve later... HELP!

CK told me blogging is girl's stuff

2005-05-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

how much do you agree on my title... somehow i agree. cos i jus posted my previous post, and now i am here again.. haha.. somehow couldnt stop myself from blogging.. i could jus sit in front of my com whole day.. jus to write and write and write... yipee...

haiz.. jus now accidently close the window without posting it.. almost finished my entries already.. haiz.. waste my time to rewrite all over again..

i was saying i dun like fakey people.. sometime i feel i am so "fake", cos jus today when i was toking to my "not-so close" classmate on my way back home... I pretend to laugh when i find it not funny.. begin to talk when i dun really feel like it.. jus to break the silent or somehow entertain.. wat i call "fu yan". dun really like tat feeling.. how can people get so insercure to be themselves? why care so much about how others might think or look at them, does it really matter? I dunno how to express it properly as in to show the whole scenario.. i could even said sometime i am being force to tell lies, when i am too lazy to explain, people jus take my words or make wrong assumption, den the lazy me was too lazy to make further explanation or clarification but to say "ah". haiz...

there are so many examples around us.. not difficult to find them if you observe carefully enough...when i am surrounded by plastic people.. i felt so yucky.. jus wondering why people cant be themselves.. being real izzit so difficult... haiz.. living in this broken down world..

I hide my feeling too.. becose.. cos nobody knows... cos people cant be trusted.. they might look down on you.. deep down in my heart... i dun even know myself...

**but one thing i know , that His presence is real**

endure.. another week to go... for my hoildays!

2005-05-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

ya.. another day.. school was nothing better.. It was JAVA... another alien language.. but lucky today ck came.. at least.. he's our entertainer cum joker.. if not i would not know how to spend my day... but i wasnt good with him around too.. cos i find myself so hard to concentrate and understand the lesson.. cos he will try his very best to distract me and convict me that i wont understand no matter how hard i tried... yes.. i somehow agree that...

alright.. my eyes is still very pain.. the sore eye seem not getting any better.. making me so ugly...

It's so werid... it was gone... sometime something happen and i dunno even know why? Somehow i felt i am living in an alien world.. I dunno anyone and nobody knows me...

why people fight and fight ??

2005-05-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

Who is HE? That willingly to die on the cross for my sin, so that i am forgiven... what benefit have You gain...
That's my Saviour!
Sorry to her.. really sorry.. i think my previous was quite mad..
The cell group message.. really hit me straight on my face... i wasnt know for sure that.. the someone sister Jiaying keep mentioning.. was so much like wat i am facing...
Somehow i heard.. from God... dun think she is talking to others... she is refering to you.. JANE! opps.. in my heart.. really gotta change.. no matter wat.. wat sister Jiaying say was so right... deep in my heart... I kept so many things.. to myself.. refuse to open up... and i didnt really fellowship with my cell members.. alright.. Jane gotta change now....

okie.. blog for the days -- I like Kenneth Lim.. dun misunderstand.. he is one of my fac.. teaching my in web multimedia.. i think becos of him.. i am liking tis module more and more... yea.. today is photo taking.. supposinly to be very fun.. yes.. it is quite fun.. but it was soooo tiring man! ok la.. afterall wasnt not bad.. the thing i dun enjoy is grouping with Jimmy.. i dunno wat happen.. he was not suppose to be in my team... but anyway.. haiz.. partly is tat CK fault!! cos he didnt come.. he dun wan to change team still dun wan to come.. He better come tmr.. if not my team left the 4 of us again!! oh man.. gtg... tmr got UT.. OS!!! the worst of the worst.. i can expect wat to expect for my grade already.. I need miracles...

why would i mind?

2005-05-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

that's funny.. you dun even care how i look at you. Why would i mind how you look on me... look up, look down, left or right... watever... as you wished... my soul is already half dead...

ya.. my life now is like a piece of lousy shit, i know it doesnt look good... but i dun need your "tong qing" ok. alrite.. wat i wan to say i guess you have already knew... no point now at this time argue about all this unneccssary stuff, it wont gives us any conclusion rite. If you think wat you are doing is right, please continue.. if you think your life is happy.. den congrats...

please dun worry, i would still face bigger challenges ahead, i do not have a choice, this is wat people called "Life". Surviving in this society or not, is longer my concern. If i fall, den tat's bad, if i excel, den tat's good. It is that either "I am good" or "I am bad"... so why bother??

I am out of mood to have a topic...

2005-05-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

wah seh.. i really dunno wat to blog here... the most unexpected things that i thought it wont be found out.. finally happen.. oh no.. I really dunno how to handle my mood now... I thought i could jus leave this memory aside.. and she bring all up again.. haiz... If there is jus one wish for me right now... i would wish to be vanished in this world... Yes... to be gone... forever...

but i know that's only happen in fairy tale... but i dunno how to face my life right now... dun tell me to face the truth... and stop giving those "typically correct answer" of wat to do.. i think i am gonna be real mad at you... the best solution is to be as far away from me as possible..

I jus wan to be alone.. in my own world... YOU! listen, u may think i am doing well now but i am not going to be ok... it really too late for everything right now.. i dun expect anything more... I would be more than happy if u jus leave me alone....

Alright, JUS GIVE A BREAK!

y like tat?

2005-05-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

i am so moodless... so emotionless... haiz.. now my eyes in deep shit.. i mean very pain.. dunno y.. dunno is i wan to cry.. or wat.. so itchy sia.. terrible...

I hate my current hairstyle now.. it was so ugly.. curve here and there.. so messy.. so difficult to manage.. i hate that...

I think i am jus too tired after went out with my sis and beifeing.. we went to play pool , den to army market to shopping.. nothing much there also.. i got myself 2 shirts.. polo tees... they force me to buy de... keep saying "nice nice.. very nice".. i think is quite cheap lor.. so i bought it.. when i try.. i was thinking.. quite werid looking or i dun really get use to seeing myself in this look.. haha.. I prefer t-shirt, comfortable and simple and look good.... anyway t-shirt is still the best!

ok.. go back to tat topic... i am still very tired.. tmr still got UT.. din really study leh.. I was waiting in front of my com.. dunno waiting for wat.. no mood to study.. no mood to play maple.. I was like click my blog and other of my fren's link in my blog.. clicking here and there aimlessly.. I guess i still waiting for her to get online.. but tmr i have to wake up early for sch.. haiz.. I cant wait too long too.. and my sis was like keep telling me she wan to use com.. i was like giving her excuses... that i am buzy doing something which i am not.. now it's muumy nagging to eat dunno wat le.. i am tired of living.. I need a break.. Yes! from everything.. I guess my blog's title really says wat i am feeling now "LET MY SOUL BE RELEASED...I DON"T FEEL REAL... "